


2008 PoT Drabbles

by Whisper132



Series: PoT Drabble Collections [3]
Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-10
Updated: 2008-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-07 20:52:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 91
Words: 27,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5470436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whisper132/pseuds/Whisper132
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles from the year 2008 for the Prince of Tennis fandom</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Impaired Judgement (JackaBun)

It made no sense. Standing next to him on the court was the same snot-nosed kid who shoved gum in his hair in the fifth grade and cheated off his math tests.  
  
Only hot. Really hot.  
  
"What're you staring at?" Marui popped his gum in Jackal's face. "I got gum on my nose or something?"  
  
"Uh…yeah." He shouldn't be having trouble talking. He knew for a fact that Marui's long division was crappy and that the self-proclaimed tensai still couldn’t name all the emperors. Still, Marui's calves had really toned up during the summer and his lips looked different, fuller. His shoulders weren't bad, either.  
  
"I was thinking of going to this buffet I heard about from Yukimura. You got any money?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Cool." Marui's hand dove into Jackal's back pocket in search of his wallet. "Ooh, you even have enough for dessert on the way home." Replacing the wallet, Marui gave Jackal's ass a pat. "What do you say we skip out during cooldown laps and get us something to eat."  
  
Jackal's stomach flipped over itself. "Sure. That'd be…good." He wasn't too sure because he wasn't very experienced, but Jackal thought that buying Marui food qualified as a date. He knew for a fact that ass touching qualified as flirting. Date plus flirting equaled sex which equaled bragging rights in the lockeroom.   
  
"Hey, you listening?"  
  
"Yeah."


	2. One Week (Rikkai)

"Don't go in there," Jackal warned, pointing his racquet toward the clubhouse. "They're at it again."  
  
Yagyuu blinked and adjusted his glasses. "How long?"  
  
"About an hour now." Scratching his head, Jackal made some quick mental tallies. "It's been going on about five days now."  
  
"I'm assuming Niou didn't apologize."   
  
The scream and sudden crash from the clubhouse confirmed that no, Niou hadn't apologized.  
  
Jackal took out his phone and checked the time. "I'm supposed to call Sanada to stop them if they fight past 5:30. We have to have everything cleaned up and locked by 6:00 or they'll start sending someone to supervise us."  
  
The clubhouse door opened and Niou stumbled out, his uniform shirt in shreds around his chest. "You little bitch!" He shook his fist at the door and barged back in, slamming the door behind him.  
  
"Niou-kun will be grounded for ruining another uniform." Yagyuu titled his head back and sighed to the sky. "I'll need another practice partner for the duration. Are you interested?"  
  
"Bunta's parents are pretty chilled out. They probably won't ground him.   
  
Niou burst through the clubhouse door, this time without a shirt. There was a hole on the knees of his pants.   
  
"How long do you think it'll be before he collapses?" Jackal asked. He wanted to go help his teammate, but a large part of Jackal's Doubles Pride was thrumming with delight that Bunta was clearly winning the argument.  
  
"He'll be fine. He's had worse." Stretching his neck from side to side until it popped loudly, Yagyuu observed Niou's wobbling form. "What were they fighting about this week?"  
  
"Niou thinks strawberry filled doughnuts are superior to lemon filled. Then Bunta said that Niou had no groove after he lost at DDR. Then Niou stole Marui's lemon doughnut for a taste test and Bunta decked him."  
  
Near the clubhouse, Niou's legs were firming up as he readied himself for another assault on the clubhouse and Marui's box of doughnuts.


	3. What a Good Boy (Sanayuki)

Yukimura looked down the length of Sanada's hallway. The walls were a collage of photo frames; Sanada at age three holding a shinai, at age six holding his first kendo championship trophy, hoisting a youth nationals cup at age seven that weighed more than he did…and then a gap, nearly a foot in length, before the kendo sword was exchanged for a tennis racquet. In every photo the smiling youth was gone, replaced with a Sanada who stood tall at Yukimura's side, staring down the photo lens.  
  
"Don't look at them; they're embarrassing." Sanada's arm fell heavily onto Yukimura's shoulder and calloused fingers gripped, pulling Yukimura through the hall and toward the small patio at the back of Sanada's home.  
  
"You look at mine. And I think they're cute." Yukimura's own photos barely changed from year to year. He stood, jersey on his shoulders, trying very hard not to gloat to the camera and generally failing. At the beginning of middle school, he no longer posed alone. His middle school photos were duplicates of those on Sanada's walls. "I'm glad you played tennis. It suits you better."  
  
Sanada looked from the kendo side of his wall to the tennis side then shrugged. "It's embarrassing."'  
  
"Which part?"  
  
Pausing in the doorway that lead outside, Sanada looked down at Yukimura for a long moment before turning back to look at the wall. "I'm taller now," he said.   
  
In one quick motion, Yukimura shoved Sanada outside. "Taller, but not smarter," he said. "Now tell me about this top secret move that's going to win nationals for us..."


	4. Straw Hat (Seigaku)

Under his bed, locked in a box where nobody, not even his overly nosy old man could find it, were his treasures.  
  
A tennis ball.  
  
A cap.  
  
A lock of hair.  
  
  
He collected them quietly over the last few months. The ball was a gift, a challenge from Buchou that was supposed to inspire him to achieve more, to become the true Pillar of Seigaku. So long as Tezuka-buchou kept talking to him, acknowledging his game above all others, Echizen would pretend to be interested in his school and its honor. Some day he was going to be Tezuka's number one and, on that day...   
  
The cap he stole during regionals. Sanada was preoccupied – just like he'd been the entire match, which was why Echizen wanted to play him again, for real, and make sure he was the only one Sanada was focusing on during the game – and Ryoma took the hat from atop Sanada's tennis bag. His team was gone, so nobody was the wiser.  
  
The lock of hair was because he  _won._  He won and Atobe didn't and it still was something of a miracle that he barely believed. Now Atobe would acknowledge him and invite him to special tournaments. Now Ryoma could casually stroll into Hyoutei and speak with the captain when he wished. He hadn't tried it out yet, of course, and the invitations weren't coming in by the barrels-full – or at all, really – but any day now…  
  
Yes, any day now.


	5. Down to Earth (Chiquita)

Tachibana Kippei was in a bind. On one hand, he fully sympathized with the cause of Global Warming. On the other, the compact fluorescent bulbs Senri demanded they buy were expensive and he really didn't have 1200 yen to spend on a fluorescent full spectrum bulb when regular bulbs were six for 100 yen. His part time job barely covered his food costs and, while he and Senri shared an apartment to cut expenses, he still had to pay for his textbooks and train fair to and from campus. The train fair was ridiculous because Senri wouldn't live in an apartment closer to the college because all the college-owned apartments weren't energy efficient.  
  
"Hey Kippei, I got you a present." Chitose bumped the front door closed with his hip while juggling two hemp shopping bags stuffed full with something leafy and green. "I ran into this guy at the station who grows cabbage in his garden. He hooked me up with some of his extra. It's not organic, but it was free." Slipping off his geta, Chitose shuffled his feet into his chenille-lined house slippers which, like the cabbage, were not organic. The slippers cost Senri the totality of his first paycheck but he declared that a proper pair of house slippers was essential for balancing his chi every night.  
  
Kippei thought nightly sex would balance Senri's chi just as well and be 50,000 yen cheaper. If pot weren't illegal, Kippei would grow his own hemp, too, just to cut the cost of Senri's imported, ugly, and overpriced shirts.  
  
"You make dinner yet?"  
  
"Yeah." Looking back toward the environmentally unfriendly kitchen, Kippei rolled his eyes. "Organic vegetables with organic chicken."  
  
"Chicken can't be organic, Kippei. It's ethically raised."  
  
Tachibana scrunched his toes in his 900 yen slippers. "You eat. I'm going out to buy some lightbulbs."


	6. Building a Manservant (Sanayuki)

One day, completely on accident, Yukimura noticed that Sanada was taller. It happened during first year, right after they took nationals. Genichirou had several inches on Yukimura, almost overnight, and it was unacceptable.   
  
"Sanada-kun, can you hold this for me?"  
  
"Sanada-kun, can you reach that?"  
  
"Sanada-kun…"  
  
"Sanada-kun…"  
  
If Seiichi had a choice, he would smack each and every girl (and the one brazen member of the men's gymnastics team) who so much as  _thought_  about whining out Sanada's name while Yukimura was trying to converse about tennis.  
  
The problem would go away if Sanada weren't so chivalrous. If something was too high, he stopped what he was doing to reach it. If someone couldn't handle moving a desk, he would drop his books and heft up the desk (they weren't really that heavy; even Renji could lift two at a time), moving it to wherever the feeble-brained girl needed it. At least the kid on the gymnastics team was asking Sanada to help position the pommel horse, which seemed a legitimate enough request until he started making suggestive gestures with one of the pommels.  
  
"Sanada-kun…"  
  
Yukimura shoved his books into Sanada's hands. "Sanada is busy carrying my things. Go away."   
  
Sanada stared at the books in his hands. "They're not heavy."  
  
"Shut up and carry them, Genichirou. And start thinking about our lineup for next year."  
  
And so it came to pass that the greater population of Rikkai Dai began to fear the wrath of Yukimura Seiichi, both off the court and on.


	7. Laundrette (Senbe)

Atobe was generally adept at everything – it was expected. He could ride horses as though he were part of the beast, and he could write speeches to stir the heart of the coldest board member.  
  
But, if the damn futon fell off the ledge of the balcony one more time, he was going to order the entire building destroyed. Sengoku, the fool, was probably snickering to himself in class, having a nice laugh at how his roommate couldn't do so much as air the futons.  
  
Well, Atobe would show that classless orange baboon. When Kiyosumi came home, he'd find fresh futons, clean laundry, and dinner waiting, then Atobe would gloat while Sengoku massaged his feet and apologized for saying that Atobe was soft and couldn't adjust to a common college life. Then, and only then, would a day of trekking down from their filthy, fourth floor apartment to retrieve the futon – again – be worth it.  
  
The housewife in the apartment next to theirs had new futon clips, bright blue ones with sparkles. The ones Sengoku got from his mother were matte brown and barely held anything. Atobe kept demanding they get newer clips, but Sengoku insisted on using their inferior ones until they broke. The money from their budget was better used elsewhere, he said. He also said their flimsy wooden clothespins were sufficient. Perhaps when he learned his "lucky" gold lamme bikini-briefs were now in the balcony two floors down, he would change his tune.  
  
But really, what must the neighbors think of their laundry? Kiyosumi's undergarments were garish and often reflected the sunlight so much that, were Atobe to fill the line with them, the signal could be seen from space. Atobe admitted that his own underthings were…colorful, but at least they weren't reflective. The old woman in the apartment next door stared at him while he was hanging things out that morning and Atobe wondered if they were too loud last night or if she knew that the Ralph Lauren tie that wafted onto her balcony was worth more than her miserable little apartment's rent. Or did she think that orange and cornflower blue made a horrible plaid, which it did, but Lauren was in and Atobe would not dress like a college student, no matter how "normal" Sengoku wanted to be.  
  
After retrieving the futon and beating the dirt out of it, Atobe stared at the instant packets on their food shelf. Ramen. Ramen. Curry in a pouch. Sengoku was never allowed to do the grocery shopping again.  
  
The door opened as Atobe was contemplating the vegetables in their crisper. The fool kicked his shoes off and threw his bag onto Atobe's clean kitchen floor. "I'm home! What's for dinner?" Sengoku patted his stomach and smacked his lips.  
  
"It's barely 1. Shouldn't you be in school?" Atobe hadn't even started on his workload for the day. There were papers to be signed and performances to be reviewed by the end of the week, and he hadn't so much as set foot in his at-home office all day.  
  
"It's our four-month anniversary. I had to come home early for that." Sengoku's arms snaked around Atobe's waist and he nuzzled Atobe's sweaty neck. "Looks like you worked hard today."  
  
"I want new clothespins," Atobe insisted, shrugging away. "And new futon clips. Until then, don't come near me."  
  
Sengoku's protests were interrupted by a knock on the door. Atobe stormed past to the entryway and opened the door to find a smiling geriatric woman dangling Sengoku's underwear from a finger. "Are these yours?" she asked. "They fell."  
  
He snatched them with a grumbled thanks and quickly closed and locked the door. "And we're drying your underwear inside from now on. No arguments." He threw the garment at Sengoku's grinning face. "Now fix dinner before we go get some decent groceries. I can't cook with the filth you buy."  
  
Sengoku looked at their selection of instant ramen and winced. "It's our anniversary; let's go out to eat! We can get some new clothespins and futon clips while we're out." Sengoku grinned and waved his lucky underwear. "Let me slip into something more comfortable and we can go."  
  
Atobe sighed and began preparing the instant ramen. If tradition held out, Kiyosumi would return in just the lucky underwear, which never failed to live up to their name, even if Atobe still wanted new futon clips and clothespins.


	8. Traditions of Love and Other Things (JackaBun)

Bunta prepared for this day with the fervor that Yukimura prepared for nationals. He wore clean, non-armpit stained shirts for the last half of January and made certain that he complimented every girl that talked to him.  
  
He also bought burlap sacks. Lots and lots of them.  
  
"You don't mind?" Niou asked Jackal as Marui ran a comb through his hair and looked at it in his locker mirror, frowned, then combed it again.  
  
Jackal shrugged. "It makes him happy, so I guess it's okay." Truthfully, Jackal wished Bunta would give up his February tradition and just be happy with whatever gift Jackal might give him. Jackal even brought up the subject once, but Bunta just clapped him on the shoulder, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and ignored him.  
  
"How do my pants look from the back?" Bunta turned and wiggled. "The pleats good?"  
  
Staring was Jackal's privilege as Bunta's doubles partner and boyfriend of two years. "Yeah. They're good."  
  
The only good thing about Bunta's Valentine tradition was that it exempted Jackal from having to purchase anything. Bunta believed Valentine's day had nothing to do with love and everything to do with sacking as much candy as possible, so they deferred all of their gift giving until their anniversary a week later, which meant Jackal could make out like a bandit on after-Valentine sale candy and score big.  
  
"I think your ass looks saggy."   
  
As Bunta's boyfriend it was also Jackal's responsibility to remove Niou from the premises whenever he and Marui were about to get into another catfight. Generally this was done with a not so subtle, "Is that Yagyuu over there talking to a girl?" Niou never really believed it, but he was just paranoid enough to want to check.  
  
"Lock it," Marui said, gesturing to the door with his comb. He smoothed out his pants. "Does it really look saggy?"  
  
"You gonna listen to what Niou says?" Jackal opened his arms wide and Marui collapsed back into his chest. "Now." Jackal placed a soft kiss on top of Marui's head. His hair tasted like hairspray. "Go out there and get 'em."   
  
Taking a moment more to nuzzle himself in Jackal's embrace, Marui grinned upward. "As soon as my bags are full, I'll come back and give you some." He shook his burlap sacks. "Wait for me?"  
  
Jackal thought of all the television he could be watching while Bunta prowled around campus, pretending to be taken aback by admirers and hustling candy back and forth to the lockeroom. "I'll be here." Despite impending boredom and a lack of excuses to put off his homework, Jackal  _would_  be there, swatting Kirihara away from the candy and explaining to Renji that four sacks of chocolates would not lead to unnecessary weight gain; Bunta burned the calories quickly, and Jackal was more than willing, as Bunta's dedicated partner, to assist Bunta's metabolic rate in whatever way he could – even if that meant pawning off the liqueurs on Sanada again.   
  
Yukimura never seemed to mind.


	9. Essential Data (Inukai)

Data was essential. Without data, Inui would be lost in a sea of red and pink lace, drowning under the weight of helpful sales clerks who wanted to steal his allowance and shove him out the door. He was having none of it this year. This year, he was prepared.  
  
Inui checked his list and scanned the shelves. The gift had to be mysterious yet reveal his truest feelings. A chocolate cat was not, as he learned last year, a good idea, nor was the globe of chocolate shaped like a tennis ball, nor was his homemade Extra Rabu Hyper Choco Love Bomb, which actually exploded in Kaoru's mother's kitchen and blew out the window.  
  
No, this year Inui had to buy something flirty, something fun, something that would "coil into his heart chakra and etch itself deep in his kundalini." So far, Kaoru refused to show Inui his kundalini, which was part of the great plan but not, by any means, a primary goal in Inui's current venture.  
  
Still, a guy could try.  
  
"Senpai?"  
  
Inui put the edible chocolate underwear back on the shelf. "Kaidou."   
  
"Are you buying me something?" Kaidou looked to the shelf with the edible undies. "I want chocolate covered cherries." He handed Inui a box. "These." With one more quick look to the shelf, Kaidou turned. "Fuji-senpai told me you asked to borrow his sister's magazines again. Stop being weird, senpai. I'm going to train by the river. You can give those to me tonight and take me to dinner."  
  
As Kaidou left the shop, Inui regarded the box in his hands. The cherries were cheap, only half the price he had been prepared to pay. He looked again to the shelf. "Just in case another anomaly in the data arises," he mumbled, grabbing the chocolate underwear.   
  
It was best to be prepared.


	10. The Life (JackaBun)

While Jackal diligently studied for end of the year exams, Marui played World of Warcraft and shuttled back and forth to Jackal's fridge. They arranged a three day Marui Stays Over study date because it was an excuse to lock themselves in a room together and, honestly, Jackal needed Marui's help with geometry.  
  
"That's supposed to be cosine squared." Marui pointed a carrot stick. "Didn't you say you wrote down all the formulas?"  
  
What Jackal conveniently forgot was that Marui never studied. He was a straight 95% student without cracking a book and didn't have the ambition to reach for the 100% because that meant missing out on precious video game time. Jackal, however, was an 85% man and 85% was not the 90% required to be part of Yukimura's team, so Jackal studied hard before exams to ensure that some unworthy beast wouldn't be playing doubles with Marui and upsetting the fragile balance of the team.  
  
"You really suck at this, don’t you?" Marui's bubble popped in Jackal's ear as the tensai leaned over Jackal's back to fix a problem. "There. You done with your stuff yet?"  
  
"I've still got history." Jackal leaned back, enjoying an impromptu scalp massage. If he could come home from school every day to Marui in his room and a nice scalp massage, he'd be the happiest guy on earth. A kiss would be good, too, since Bunta was disappointingly prudish and refused to let Jackal kiss him anywhere but on the cheek or the back of his shoulder.  
  
Marui drew his hand away. "Man, you take forever. Got any new CDs?" He looked toward Jackal's small media collection. "Guess not."  
  
What a lot of the team didn't understand was that Marui was a very high maintenance doubles partner. He required something new to do every hour or he got bored, went home, and played video games all night. If not for Jackal, Marui would have been bored with tennis after the first few matches of the season and moved on to something else. But Jackal was outside his classroom every day after school to walk him to the clubhouse, and walked him to the train after practice, and sometimes walked him into his room because seeing Bunta safely in bed gave Jackal a strange sense of satisfaction.  
  
A book collided with Jackal's head. "You're supposed to be studying. If you're not studying then we should go downstairs and play Guitar Hero."   
  
"You've already beaten it twice."  
  
"Not with perfect scores. Come oooooooon." Bunta grabbed Jackal's arm and began to tug.   
  
In the agility department, Bunta was king, but strength was Jackal's forte. One swift tug and Marui's balance was gone. Two tugs and he was sitting on Jackal's lap. "I'm good on studying for today," Jackal said.   
  
Marui adjusted himself until he was no longer in danger of falling. He looked at the door. "Your mom's home."  
  
"Door's closed."  
  
"Only above the neck."  
  
"What if I say we can play until we get a perfect score on Duet Mode?"  
  
Bunta looked at the door again. "Shoulders and up. Last offer."  
  
Jackal rolled his chair away from the desk. "Deal."   
  
"And stop asking me over to study if all you're gonna do is study. It's boring."   
  
"Mhmmm," Jackal hummed as Marui's fingers pressed into his scalp, rubbing in circles. Yes, this was the life.


	11. Curbside Romance (MaruJi)

"My mom said not to take candy from strangers." Marui bipassed the sack of goodies and continued walking toward the school gate. Once he was safely inside the Rikkai grounds the freak wouldn't be able to follow him.  
  
"I'm not a stranger. I'm your biggest fan!" Jirou jiggled the bag. "It's not poisoned or anything, and it's all expensive. To get extra allowance I mopped the floors myself, just for you. Do you know how much floor there is to mop at my place? It's like mopping your school!" Jirou's limp wristed wave said he thought Rikkaidai was filthy and undeserving of his Marui-sama, a sentiment he wrote about often in his biweekly love letters. At least he'd stopped sending tuition vouchers and pieces to the Hyoutei uniform.  
  
"Look, I'll take the candy. Now scram." One more block. He just had to go one more block before-  
  
"Marui-sama?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can still come over to your house this weekend, right?" Jirou handed over the candy bag and brushed his fingers along Marui's wrist. "Atobe promised he'd keep Oshitari's spies away this time." The fingers grew more daring, clamping around Marui's forearm and drawing him closer. "You promised."  
  
Marui shook his arm free. "Yeah, yeah. You can come over. No stealing my stuff, though." He peered into the bag to make sure there was a sufficient gum to chocolate ratio. "Don't think I don't know about all the clothes you stole. I want the uniform pants back. And my cargo capris."  
  
"I'll buy you new ones."  
  
"I liked _those ones._ "  
  
"I had my housekeeper make a quilt with them, so I can't give them back." Jirou's hand reached back and swiped the handkerchief out of Marui's back pocket. "Thanks!" he said as he ran away. "I needed one more square! Next weekend you can come to my place and we can sleep under my new quilt!"  
  
Marui's book bag fell from his shoulder and clunked onto the sidewalk. "Mom's gonna kill me," he sighed. "Those were my birthday pants."  
  
A suction cup arrow landed at his feet with a message attached.  
  
_Akutagawa-sama will be more than agreeable to purchasing your birthday suit, should you be interested in selling. –O_  
  
He crumpled the note and threw it in the bushes. Stupid spies. Stupid Hyoutei.  
  
He looked into the bag of candy again. 7:1 chocolate ratio…Akutagawa could be forgiven. For now.


	12. In Case of Perverts... (Maruihara)

It was difficult to convince Bunta that the streets of Kanagawa were dangerous at night, particularly since they were both guys and had tennis racquets - and Bunta knew enough fake kung fu from films to at least stun a mugger while he ran away. There were reports on the news that said the number of perverts on the streets at night were on the rise and, if they were being completely honest with one another, they would both agree that, in bad lighting (sometimes in good, too) Bunta kinda looked like a girl. A really flat-chested and bitchy girl, but perverts probably liked feisty types like that.  
  
"I'm almost home. You can let go now." Marui tried to yank his hand free. "The brats will start asking weird questions again if I show up holding your hand."  
  
"Perverts could be anywhere, senpai. You have to be careful." Kirihara gave Bunta's hand a squeeze. No crazy perverts were going to grope _his_ tensai.  
  
"I know that," Bunta sighed. "So let's say I do run into one of these perverts. And let's say he grabs onto me and won't let go. What do you think I should do?"  
  
"Kick him in the crotch." Akaya's mom watched a lot of "television for women" and one of her programs had a self-defense guy giving tips to old ladies. He said the best thing to do if someone assaulted you was to kick him in the crotch, scream, then go for the eyes.  
  
Marui considered the advice. "What if I don't want to kick him in the crotch. What if he's a nice guy, just a little stupid?"  
  
"You got someone in mind, senpai?" Kirihara didn't want to be one of those crazy, obsessive boyfriends, but if someone was being a "nice guy" to Marui, then he had to have a talk with this guy about boundaries and personal space and how Akaya would royally mess him up if he so much as looked at Bunta in a pervy way. "Is it that Hyoutei kid? Or Jackal-senpai?"  
  
The smack upside the head was unexpected, and Kirihara released Marui's hand to clutch his bruised cranium.  
  
"We're close enough. I don't think anyone's going to jump me when I'm four houses away from home. You can head back now." Bunta waved over his shoulder. "And remember, if any perverts come near you, just kick 'em in the crotch."


	13. The Alternative (Tezufuji)

There was no way to keep his cool while staring down the muzzle of a snarling, gnashing beast.  
  
“Isn’t he cute, Tezuka? We call him Kabuki.” Fuji scratched behind the ears of the black furred devil dog. “Getting him was Yuuta’s idea.”  
  
Tezuka wagered Yuuta had asked for a daschund or a poodle. Not…this.  
  
“No, Kabuki! Bad dog! Don’t eat Tezuka’s shoes!” Fuji took a squirt gun out of his back pocket and aimed it at the dog. “Now apologize.”  
  
The dog’s method of apology was to continue eating Tezuka’s shoe while ignoring the water stream hitting him in the ear. “He’ll be better once he’s trained,” Fuji said, smiling nervously.  
  
Tezuka looked nervously toward his tennis bag before picking it up off the couch.  
  
“Oh don’t worry; he’s not allowed on the furniture.”  
  
He eyed the dog, then Fuji, then the spot on the couch where stuffing spilled forth from a labrador mouth-sized hole.  
  
Fuji relented for the first time in their acquaintance. “We could go to your place.”  
  
Tezuka thought of his grandfather, then of the dog. He thougth very carefully and very thoroughly of all options opened to him.  
  
He set the tennis bag back on the couch.


	14. Ladybug Accomplice (Tenipuri/Deno crossover)

Marui stared at himself in the mirror. "Why am I wearing this again?" He turned to look at his companion who wore a similar costume.  
  
"It'll work. Trust me."  
  
Marui looked back into the mirror. "I have antennae and I look like a retard." And his ass looked huge. Kirihara was _not_ going to be lured into jealousy when he saw a photo of Marui in a giant ladybug costume that made it look like his ass was retaining water like a pregnant sea cow.  
  
Still, this Nogami kid was in a stable relationship with jewelry – well, a watch, but that was close enough. Even if Nogami's boyfriend was kind of a train geek, at least he was a train geek with his own train.  
  
After regarding himself in the mirror one last time, promising himself that, if this didn't work, he'd burn all the evidence, Marui stepped out of the changing area and onto the photo stage with his ladybug accomplice.


	15. Hot Wheels (Rikkai)

He was shooting for monster truck. Beaten down VW Beetle was not monster truck glory, nor was it something that would prevent the rest of the team from laughing at him. At least it was an import.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
And who the hell was this guy in the hat? Wasn't he that weird coach from Shitenhouji? Why was he up in Kanagawa? Did he even _know_ how to drive?  
  
"Marui Bunta. Good name." Osamu wrote some things down on his clipboard. "Now take three laps round the regular terrain circuit. No turns yet."  
  
  
It seemed normal enough, so Marui put his Beetle into gear – the cracked 1970's leather handle snipped at his hand – and gave it a little gas.  
  
Putt. Putt putt. It was like the Mr. Toad ride at Tokyo Disney. How lame.  
  
"You're doing well. Now give it a little more gas."  
  
"My foot's to the floor. I can't." None of this would be happening if his dad would've just let him have the monster truck. He could haul ass over these stupid cones if he was in a monster truck.  
  
"That's good enough for today, then." Osamu pushed the clipboard at Marui as the car creaked to a stop. "Just sign on the highlighted places. Push hard; there are three copies."  
  
Marui examined the documents and pushed the clipboard back. "Those are enrollment papers. Where's my instructor?" He looked toward the office building. "You kidnap him or something?"  
  
"Of course not." Osamu pulled a business card from the brim of his hat. "I'm an official instructor. Now sign the papers and we'll get you the license. It's all on the up and up."  
  
Kyuushu for the remainder of high school and a driver's license or a future full of trains and buses and no road trips for himself and Akaya…  
  
…after a final look to Osamu, he signed. "You better give me free uniforms."  
  
"It's all included in the welcome package, Marui-kun. We're glad you made the right choice." Osamu patted Marui's head and exited the car. "And your wheels will fit right in."


	16. Outing (IbuSae)

"No touching."  
  
"You don't actually mean that."  
  
Ibu stared at his date. "If I didn't mean it, then why would I say it? Why are you always assuming that I mean something other than what I say when I'm always direct with you, even when I have to tell you that your uniform shirt looks ridiculous and you really shouldn't be wearing short sleeves because your arms are weirdly shaped and-"  
  
"I get it. No touching." Saeki let his head fall back so he could stare at the sky. All he'd wanted was a nice, romantic walk in the park at night, maybe a kiss or two.  
  
"And while we're talking about it, why are you always touching my hair? I use Tsubaki, and it's not cheap, so you shouldn't be getting your finger oil in it because it disrupts the pH, and then I have to wash my hair again, wasting shampoo. You should use Tsubaki, too, Kojirou. Your hair is fried because you dye it too much. Tachibana-san said-"  
  
"You promised you weren't going to talk about that guy today." Saeki promised not to mention anything about his kendo practice and Ibu promised not to talk about his captain. There was only so much Tachibana-san this and Tachibana-san that a guy could tolerate. It was to be expected when dating someone from the Cult of Tachibana but, really, the guy wasn't all that great. In fact, he was kind of an asshole.  
  
"I wasn't talking about Tachibana-san, I was talking about your hair. I don't know why you always have to change the subject, Kojirou, especially when all I'm trying to do is point out that you should take more pride in your appearance, since…I said no touching."  
  
Saeki shrugged and continued to hold Ibu's hand. If Shinji was focused on the inappropriate touching, he couldn't be talking about Tachibana or Saeki's hair or any of the other things he'd found to complain about this week.  
  
Also there were some guys watching them and, since Saeki was forbidden from scaring away the public after an incident with an elderly man on the train, he had to find a way to stake his claim. Especially since the weirdos in the bushes looked a like Tachibana and that tall guy from Kyuushu.


	17. An Encounter with The Force (Shitenhouji)

Freak. That was all Kenya could think. The guy who was supposed to be their coach was sitting on the bench with a beer, wearing some kind of cosplay.  
  
"That is not the shot you were looking for," the coach said, waving his hand in front of Shiraishi. "You seek another." He waved his hand again. "It's in the staff room fridge in a green and orange bag with my name on it. Contained therein are the shots you seek."  
  
"Is this guy going to do this all day? Isn't he supposed to coach us on tennis?" Kenya shot another look to their cosplaying mentor. "He seems kinda, you know, dim."  
  
"This coming from the guy who wanted to color code all of our practice warm-ups." Shiraishi put his racquet down and headed toward the faculty room. "Better just do what he wants," he explained when Kenya's jaw hit the court. "Never know what crazies can do. Look at Koharu." He pointed to where the resident tensai was currently strung up on a basketball hoop by his underwear. "I didn't think that AV club guy could throw him that high."  
  
Kenya took a look back toward the coach, who smiled and waved his hand again. "He said something about snacks, too. I'll see if Gin can snag us any from the home-ec club."  
  
"You are wise young ones!"  
  
Before he could help himself, Kenya let out a muttered, "Idiot," and trudged off in search of some nibblets.


	18. With Sauce (Maruihara)

Playing second string to a pig was humiliating. Having to carry the pig to which he was second string was just adding insult to injury and, to top it all off, the pig purse was pink with yellow sequins and sported the phrase "Love Machine Boom Boom" in neon green puff paint.  
  
If Bunta hadn't made him that really tasty cake the week previous, Akaya would have told his beloved senpai to carry his own damn pig.  
  
"I was thinking we should get him some sweaters for when it gets cold. There's this dog shop my mom's friend recommended; she thinks the sweaters there will fit Saizou. Whaddya think?" Bunta scratched at the pig's head and waited for Akaya's response.  
  
Akaya didn't give a damn about pig sweaters. Let the thing freeze so they could have some bacon; that was his opinion on the matter. He wanted to still have a boyfriend at the end of the train ride, though, so he said, "Sounds good to me."  
  
The pig would last just as long as Marui's need to have a cat – the cat chewed on the wires to Bunta's computer and was sent to a shelter – or Marui's fascination with hamsters – he let them loose in the park because the hamsters were mating at an alarming rate and he could no longer contain them in their cage.  
  
_Snort._ The pig looked up at him as if sensing his pork cutlet dreams.  
  
Akaya jostled the pig purse, shoving it up against the wall of the train. "Don't want him getting motion sickness, senpai," he explained when Marui eyed the purse warily.  
  
"I'm buying barbeque sauce just for you, pig," he whispered when Marui was distracted by a Choco-Cro billboard. "Barbeque."


	19. Extra Chips in the Cookie (Silver Pair)

Someone must have died. That, or Ohtori botched some music thing. Last month a string snapped in the middle of Ohtori's recital and Shishido swore Choutarou was going to hide under that piano for days.  
  
"Someone stole it, Shishido-san." Tears rolled down Ohtori's cheeks as he clung to his pillow.   
  
Now was not the time for Shishido to be thinking about how Ohtori was all rumpled on his bed and how they were alone in the house. That would be taking advantage, and taking advantage was wrong, no matter what Oshitari and his "advice" said.  
  
"Uh…hey, Choutarou. Um," he looked around the room, focusing on some framed sheet music. "Um, you called? Something bugging you?"  
  
Ohtori sniffed and pointed to a decorative bag on his desk. "Someone stole it, Shishido-san! I spent all night baking it and someone stole it."   
  
"Baked? You bake, Choutarou?" Shishido believed Ohtori could do a lot of things you wouldn't expect of a guy who could bench press a beluga whale, but baking was not one of those things. Choutarou could barely operate the microwave without some kind of explosion or fire.  
  
"I made you oatmeal cookies, Shishido-san. You said you really liked them."   
  
Shishido imagined the chain of disasters that must have been set into motion by Choutarou's culinary attempt. He couldn't do that to Choutarou's mother's kitchen again. "Come on, we'll make new cookies together, alright?" Reaching forward he removed the pillow from Ohtori's death-hold and wiped at the tear-trails on Ohtori's cheeks. "If we hurry we can even watch a movie or something before your parents get back from…where are they?"  
  
Choutarou blushed and stared at his blankets. "They're buying new oven mitts. There was a little accident and…"   
  
Shishido silenced Ohtori with a finger to his lips. "Gotcha. We'll make some microwave popcorn instead. We'll make cookies at my place tomorrow night, okay?"  
  
Tomorrow night Shishido's family was going out to their grandparents. Shishido could fake sick, easy, and have the house free all night for…baking. Yeah, baking.


	20. The Best of Friends (Rikkai)

"You're a pretty crappy shot." Niou pointed to the target and the arrow that lay on the ground before it. "It's just P.E., but you're really sucking it up. You're gonna make the team look bad."  
  
Marui gave Niou the finger and concentrated on his next shot. Of course he couldn't hit the target; he was on the tennis team, not the archery team.   
  
Niou's arrow hit the outermost rim of the target and he whistled some conceited little song that he made up in his conceited little brain.  
  
"Maybe you should go join the archery team then," Marui grumbled. "You might be able to win a match."  
  
Nobody was surprised when Niou launched himself at Marui's head and began pulling hair, and nobody was taken aback by the kick to the groin Marui used to defend himself. It was just another lovely day at Rikkaidai Fuzoku.


	21. Tiles of Love (AtoJi, Silver Pair)

The last thing Atobe would admit to at this juncture was that he had no idea how to play mahjongg. He might have told Jirou about it under the cover of darkness when no blushes could be seen, but he certainly wasn't going to admit his lack of skill in front of Shishido and Ohtori.  
  
"We should be playing for cash," Shishido said, looking at the collection of tokens he'd amassed. "I want a new pair of shoes."  
  
"I can get you shoes, Shishido-san." Ohtori smiled at his doubles partner and tried to tap his foot under the table. Atobe knew about the foot tapping only because Ohtori's aim was off and he was kicking Atobe in the ankle.  
  
"You're losing!" Jirou was almost standing in his chair. "You're losing, Atobe!"  
  
"Thank you for the observation, Jirou. Now sit." Atobe pointed his finger in the same manner he used to get the family Doberman to do tricks. With Jirou the maneuver was less than effective.  
  
"Let's play teams!" Abandoning his seat, the volley specialist draped himself over the back of Atobe's chair. "I'll teach you," he whispered into Atobe's ear while Shishido and Ohtori were busy consulting their combined tiles.   
  
Atobe didn't say anything, just relaxed back in his chair and listened to Jirou's quiet instruction. Later, after the two imbeciles went home, Atobe would make sure the maid brought down the good, triple thick futon. Jirou deserved it.


	22. Happy Birthday...TO YOU (TezuFuji)

Tezuka still had the taste of silly string in his mouth, and the party had been three days ago. Still, Fuji was insistent that they "continue to relive the joy" of Tezuka's birth throughout the week. If Tezuka could get through without having a heart attack, he would call it a success.  
  
"Happy Birthday!" Fuji cried, popping out of his closet and tossing streamers. "Do you feel any different now that you're older, Tezuka?"  
  
How Fuji came to be in Tezuka's closet at 6am on a Wednesday was a mystery. Tezuka was always the first in his family to wake up, so he knew that Fuji hadn't been let in by anyone. If his mother gave Fuji a key to the house, Tezuka would have to use his allowance to buy a new lock for his door; one that would prevent Fuji from casually scaring the crap out of him.  
  
"I feel the same as yesterday, but thank you for the concern." He bypassed Fuji and went for his school uniform. He'd have to change in the bathroom, since walking around in his towel while Fuji was camped in his room was…not wise.  
  
"I'll go make breakfast!" Fuji gave Tezuka a peck on the cheek and all but skipped out of the room while Tezuka stood, jaw slack, uniform pants slowly sliding from his fingers.  
  
At age 15 and 3 days, Tezuka received his first kiss.  
  
He still had four more days of celebrating to go.


	23. Boys Who Thirst (Seigaku)

Momoshiro reached for it first. He thought Kaidoh wouldn't notice, given that Inui-senpai was talking and Mamushi never paid any attention to anything when Inui-senpai was talking. Momo figured there was probably weird boyfriend quizzes involved. Whatever. The water glass was his and nobody was going to take it from him. The new "Strong Style Training" was murder. They had to practice without food for a day, without water the next. Well, not completely without water – that would be suicidal – but they only got to drink a glass during practice. Momo's was gone, but the Mamushi was saving his.  
  
He inched toward it slowly…  
  
A towel smacked him across the Momo ducked in time to avoid Kaidoh's fist.   
  
"That's mine," the mamushi hissed, sawing back and forth with his towel. "I'm saving it."  
  
"I'm thirsty, Mamushi. Snakes are used to being dehydrated, right? Let me have it." Momo made another move forward, watching Kaidoh's towel. "Just...go train with Inui-senpai or something."  
  
The towel whipped out again, and Kaidoh moved closer to the water. "It's mine." Kaidoh swung the towel back, readying it for another smack.  
  
The glass of water fell in slow motion, first doing a small hula on the bench, then somersaulting backward in a spiral of water and plastic. When it hit the ground, Kaidoh's towel impacted with Momo's face, followed shortly by Kaidoh's fist and twenty laps for fighting.  
  
Behind them, Inui grinned and scribbled an entry in his data notebook.


	24. Tidepool (Maruihara)

"Why did I put that _there_?" Marui moaned, staring out from behind a bush. He couldn't very well go out there and get it – everyone would know it belong to him then – but he really wanted it back. It was…important.  
  
"Dear Bunta-kun," Niou read. He paused to dramatic effect and to show Renji that no, he was really reading what the characters on the blue floral stationary said. "You are my shining starfish in a sea of oysters. I want to pick you out of your tidepool and let your tentacles wrap around me. Come over to my house this weekend and we can see how you like my squid ink." Niou blinked and Marui really, _really_ wanted the letter back. "And by the way, senpai, I don't want you to think I mean anything obscene with the squid ink stuff, that's just a metaphor. You can be on top if you want. I'm not insecure like Fukubuchou or anything. Love, Akaya."  
  
This was the last time Marui asked Akaya to make his love letters more romantic. From now on, the usual, "Your house or mine, senpai?" would do.


	25. Learn to Lose (Seigaku)

Echizen stared. He couldn't do anything else but stare given that everyone else was staring and they couldn't start practice until Buchou got his hand out of Fuji-senpai's pants. Not even Inui-senpai was that…into it when he molested Kaidoh behind the bleachers where he thought nobody was going to see them. Echizen only saw because he was practicing against the wall back there. He definitely wasn't hanging out there waiting for Momo-senpai to jog by without his shirt on, or for the volleyball captain and his star striker to hold their daily meetings.  
  
Tennis required practice and…  
  
Buchou finally took his hand out of Fuji's pants then continued to dress for practice, like nothing weird was going on and practice wasn't delayed because they were making out in the middle of the locker room. Again.  
  
"Hey Echizen, I'm training extra hard after practice. You coming?" Momo's pecs flexed beneath his jersey.   
  
Normally Echizen would jump at the chance, and then jump at the Momo, but he just wasn't feeling it. "I'm going home, senpai." He began packing his bag. "I'm not playing tennis this week."   
  
Momo was quick on the draw. "Oh, you want to hang out in your room and practice that thing with the…" Momo swallowed hard when Inui looked at him. "…marbles? My sister said she'd lend me her marbles and we could try playing with them again."  
  
Echizen shrugged. "Fine. I still want the back rub, though. And the foot massage." Whether or not that required marbles was all up to Momo, but Fuji-senpai was clearly going to get some after practice, and if Echizen didn't compete, he'd be inadequate, and he made a promise to Karupin that he'd never lose to Fuji-senpai at anything after that week he spent in bed because Fuji-senpai crushed him at the video arcade.  
  
He was going to be a winner, dammit. A winner.


	26. Just a Toy (Rikkai)

"Fifi!" Sanada stormed through the campus, throwing classroom doors open. "Fifi!"  
  
If Kirihara wanted to live to see another day, he'd keep his mouth shut and his eyes to the ground. He would ignore the hot pink leash Fukubuchou was holding and just hold the dog kennel like Yukimura-buchou told him.  
  
A yip sounded from the vicinity of the bathrooms. It kinda sounded like Marui-senpai when his gum ran out and he was pouting to see if someone would take pity on him and get him more. It also sounded like Niou-senpai that time when Yagyuu senpai accidentally swung a putter into his crotch during the Team Bonding Activity at the putt-putt course.  
  
"Akaya! Bring the kennel!" Sanada moved like a giant cat, all muscle-y and death-y and big. Really big.  
  
The poodle sprang out of the girls' bathroom and ran toward them, tail wagging. Sanada crouched down, patting his thighs. "C'mere Fifi! Here!"  
  
Fukubuchou's smile was scary. Fukubucou's smile covered in dog spit was worse. Whatever connection Sanada had with Yukimura's poodle, Akaya didn't want any part of it. He wasn't going to let some dog cover him in slobber just because his boyfriend was having a hissy fit and—  
  
"Akaya! My gum! It's missing!"  
  
Kirihara set the kennel down – the poodle was leashed again and Sanada was already escorting it back outside for the festival – and ran toward Bunta. Lost gum was easy; all Akaya had to do was shake up some freshman and boom! Marui's supply was restored. No slobber necessary.


	27. New Views (Hyoutei)

423,589 views? How could this be?!   
  
Atobe refreshed the page and the number went up by 100. He was going to _kill_ Mukahi for this.  
  
"Is there a problem Atobe?"   
  
First, in order to kill Mukahi, Atobe had to cut through Oshitari, not too difficult a task. He cleared his throat. "Your doubles partner is releasing material onto the internet on this," he checked the site again, "Youtube. I want it removed."  
  
"I'm sure Gakuto didn't mean to-"  
  
"Removed. Now." Atobe refreshed the page again. 423,972 views.  
  
The short little satan bounced up and gave Oshitari's arm a light punch. "What's up, Yuushi? I wanted to get some burgers but you weren't in the usual place and – oh, hey Atobe."  
  
"Remove the video." 424,000 views, even.  
  
Gakuto snickered and moved around to Oshitari's back, peering at Atobe over Oshitari's shoulder. "It's a cute video. It even made the home page feature!"  
  
He was never going to live this down. Four hundred, twenty-four thousand people now knew that Atobe Keigo preferred to sleep in fuzzy footsy jammies and carried a stuffed security pig. No, wait, Four hundred, twenty-four thousand and one.  
  
And rising.


	28. Attention, Please (Maruihara, Sanayuki)

"Aren't they cute?"  
  
"Do you think they're together?"  
  
"Let's go take a picture?"  
  
Kirihara glared at the girls whispering behind their hands. He hated them. All of them. If Fukubuchou weren't there holding him back, he would tear them limb from limb and –  
  
"Akaya." Sanada grabbed Kirihara's arm and dragged him away from the girls. "Carry more." He handed Akaya the shopping bags he'd been carrying, bringing Kirihara's total load to twelve.  
  
"What do you think of this one?" Up ahead, Marui pulled Buchou along the street, stopping occasionally to point out something in a shop window. Bunta hadn't so much as smiled at Akaya all afternoon, not even when Akaya offered to carry the bags and pay for lunch and massage the kinks out of Bunta's shopping arm.  
  
"Fukubuchou don’t you think they look kinda, you know, together-y?" Akaya thought that they looked a lot together-y and it was pissing him off. Buchou had Fukubuchou; he didn't need any extras.  
  
Sanada looked down at Kirihara. "Do you want to leave?"  
  
"They wouldn't even notice if we left," Akaya grumbled. He would've slumped his shoulders if he weren't afraid the weight of the bags would prevent him from straightening up again. Is this how Fukubuchou got to be so ripped?   
  
"We can go." Sanada rolled his neck, blinked, and made eye contact with one of the girls watching Buchou and Bunta.  
  
Suddenly, the girls no longer seemed concerned with the shopping duo.  
  
"Sanada! Bring the bags; it's time to go home." Buchou was using his Deal With Unruly Freshman voice.  
  
Fukubuchou was a genius.


	29. I Dream Of... (Maruihara)

Currently, Akaya's biggest ambition in life was to be buchou next year and to convince Marui-senpai to go out on a date with him. Once those two things were accomplished, he could start making his dreams come true.  
  
The dreams in question involved Marui and a geisha costume. Akaya figured that, if he got the costume ready ahead of time, he would be that much closer to his ultimate goals once his first set were completed.  
  
"What're you doing?"   
  
Kirihara dropped his measuring tape and laughed nervously. He looked anywhere but at his senpai. "Buchou wants measurements for your jackets next year, senpai."   
  
Marui popped a bubble. "Liar. Renji did all that last week. Try again."  
  
"I, uh, wanted to know if we were the same size and could share some clothes since my mom buys me kid stuff." He kicked at the ground to look extra innocent.  
  
"You're crappy at this lying stuff. Just tell me what you want." Marui reached forward and ruffled Kirihara's hair. "You're not cute at all today."  
  
"I just wanted to know your measurements and Yanagi-senpai charges too much." Yanagi-senpai wanted three months' allowance for Marui's measurements. That money was important to Akaya's Kimono Savings Fund.  
  
"Renji said you'd been asking him a lot about geisha and kimonos." Marui ruffled Kirihara's hair again. "Yukimura has some photos from last year's cultural festival you might want to look at." He popped a bubble. "And don't think I'll ever do it again."  
  
If Kirihara gathered what he had in his savings, he might just be able to buy copies of the photos off Buchou. You wouldn't think it, but Yukimura was a ruthless salesman, and anyone who took out payments was at Sanada's mercy if they defaulted. Still, for Marui in a geisha outfit, Kirihara would brave it, and then maybe the weird ninja dreams would go away.


	30. Out of My Pants, Out of My Mind (Koharu/Yuuji)

He had been warned to stay away from the guy in the women's panties. People said he'd know the kid when he saw him and, if he wanted to get through class without being sexually molested, he'd never make contact with Konjiki Koharu.   
  
Yuuji was expecting Koharu to be wearing the uniform skirt or something, maybe a big sign over his head that said "I am a perverted panty-wearing weirdo. Yoroshiku!" Instead, Koharu looked pretty normal. Well, normal for a complete dork. There was no way this guy was wearing women's panties. None.  
  
"Hey. Psst." Koharu tapped Yuuji on the shoulder. "You're Hitouji Yuuji. You wear the same size pants as me."   
  
"Yeah? So what if I do?" Yuuji looked to Koharu's waist. The kid was probably right; they both looked to be about the same size.  
  
"Let's switch pants." Koharu's hands moved forward toward Yuuji's belt. The hands were quickly slapped away.  
  
"No way."  
  
Koharu's smile faded and he scooted closer, close enough to whisper in Yuuji's ear. "Is there any other way you'll let me into your pants?" As he avoided Yuuji's punch, Koharu winked.   
  
It was fear and curiosity that got Yuuji out of his pants. He feared what insane methods Koharu would use next time, and he was curious to see if the other boy was, in fact, wearing women's panties.  
  
He was. Pink with blue daisies and calligraphy that read "Sweet Thang" across the seat. How could he possibly resist that?


	31. Strange Bedfellows (Koharu/Yuuji)

Truthfully, it creeped Koharu out. One moment he would be sidled up next to Yuuji, all happy and content, then Yuuji would start talking in somebody's else's voice, and Koharu would have to step away. Despite the come on lines, Konjiki really wasn't all that interested in Chitose. It was just fun to tease.  
  
And who the hell was the adulterer, going around and studying people long enough to mimic them, even in intimate moments?   
  
If he said anything, though, Yuuji would throw a fit and bring up the Kenya issue again. And the Gin issue. And the thousands of other issues that they'd had over their two months of relationship.   
  
"What are you moping about?" Yuuji poked Koharu in the hip. "You done? Can I put my pants back on?"  
  
Koharu thought about it a moment then nodded. He wasn't in the mood, not after hearing Yuuji cry out for Gin with Osamu's voice. That kinda crap could scar a man. "Yuuji-kuuuuun?" He had to make his voice lilt like normal or Yuuji would know something was wrong.  
  
"What?" At the end of the bed, Yuuji was trying to figure out which pants were his.   
  
"Don’t' do that off the courts, okay?" He batted his eyelashes, just to keep the serious tone off.   
  
"Do what, idiot?" Yuuji replied in Kenya's voice. Being naked ruined the effect, though. Kenya looked a lot less manly naked. Not that Koharu ever looked.  
  
"I only want Yuuji," Koharu grumbled, springing forward to topple them both to the ground.   
  
Yuuji looked skeptical, but folded Koharu in his arms anyway. "Fine, one more time. But then you're doing my math homework so I don't miss my show."  
  
Koharu wiggled in delight. He'd already done all of Yuuji's homework for the year last month, before he invited Yuuji over for the first time. He also set the DVR to record the show, which his calculations told him they'd be missing. Yuuji owed him for the earlier weirdness, and he planned to collect. Plus interest. Lots of interest.


	32. Contagion (AtoJi)

Atobe's nose was red and flaky and gross. Jirou didn't want to be anywhere near him. Contagion and pestilence surrounded Keigo like that horrible cologne he wore on Thursdays after practice. His mom gave it to him, so he thought it was okay. Jirou was trying to get him to be less of a mama's boy and put the cologne away, but Keigo insisted on his mother's fine sense in olfactory accessories. What nobody told Keigo was that his mother's sense of smell went out with her third facelift.  
  
"Jirou!" Atobe rang a bell on his bedside. "Jirou!"  
  
"I'm right here." Jirou uncurled from the chair next to Keigo's bed. "What?" It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Keigo wanting him to play nurse, but they had both agreed that manual labor was Kabaji's job. What good was a kouhai if not to fetch and lift and make lunch?  
  
"Oranges." A pale hand pointed to the peeled mandarins on a bedside table. "Thirsty."  
  
Falling out of the chair and walking, slumped backed, to the nightstand on the other side of the bed, Jirou peeled off a section of the mandarin and held it up to Atobe's lips. "Say aaah."  
  
Atobe shook his head.   
  
Jirou reminded himself that, once the phlegm left Atobe's sinuses, he could nap in Atobe's comfortable bed again and be pampered and loved again. The monster in the pink and green floral pajamas would be just another bad memory. "Open for the Keigo YumYum Express," he said, putting as much energy into it as he could spare. This was Keigo's eighth orange of the day.  
  
Atobe opened his mouth wide. His eyes sparkled.  
  
Jirou remembered why he tolerated this, even when he knew he'd be stuck at home for a week after getting the flu from Keigo's Goodnight LuvBoat Kiss.


	33. In the Heat of the Sun (TezuFuji)

Tezuka was laughing at him. Oh, there weren't huge chuckles ripping through the air, but Fuji could tell his captain was just yucking it up on the inside.  
  
"I brought aloe," Tezuka said. He reached into his tennis bag and brought out a small bottle. "Here."  
  
Fuji ignored it. "I'm fine, thank you." He glared at Tezuka's twitching lips. "But thanks for the offer."   
  
His arm hurt. His face hurt. Everything _hurt_ so badly, like his skin was on fire. Technically, it was. It was Fuji's idea to go to the beach, but it was Tezuka and his bathing suit's fault that Fuji completely forgot to put on sunblock. And yes, it had been in Fuji's grand plan to massage sunblock suggestively into Tezuka's back and then sit happily while Tezuka reciprocated, but Tezuka, ever prepared, had put his on in the morning.   
  
Then the bastard wore a Speedo, just to throw off Fuji's worldview completely. And burn his eyes. And make him a little dizzy because the salt air gave him a nosebleed.   
  
"Fuji, the aloe." Tezuka squirted a drop onto his palms and began to warm it. "I'll help."  
  
Sitting on a shared beach towel, skin red and blistering, Fuji had no choice but to nod and wait. He valiantly ignored the girls pointing at them and he also ignored Tezuka's bright green Speedo with tennis balls on the ass. "We'll go to the museum next time, Tezuka."  
  
Tezuka's hands stilled on Fuji's lower back. "I like the beach," he said.   
  
Fuji looked over his shoulder and caught the tail end of Tezuka's silent snicker. "The museum, Tezuka."  
  
Tezuka cleared his throat. "Of course." He capped the aloe bottle and scooted forward to sit beside Fuji, staring out over the beach, eyes locked on the horizon. "They have a wonderful exhibit on solar radiation. You will enjoy it."  
  
Under the circumstances, throwing sand in his face was merciful.


	34. No Apologies (Sanayuki)

Yukimura was not one to apologize. It had not been his fault that Sanada's dignity had been compromised during the commencement ceremony and it was certainly not his fault that Sanada's parents were currently in conference with his parents, leaving them both sitting in Yukimura's living room in uncomfortable silence.  
  
He'd been in the moment. There was nothing wrong with that.  
  
"Seiichi."  
  
Well, perhaps there was a little bit wrong when the moment dictated hugging in front of the assembled adults.  
  
"Seiichi."  
  
And perhaps he shouldn't have grabbed hold of Sanada as he did. A touch of the hands might have sufficed. Still, Genichirou was pouting and waiting for Seiichi to cave. Yukimura never caved.  
  
A pillow smacked into Yukimura's head. "Seiichi." Sanada held a couch cushion at the ready.  
  
"What is it, Genichirou? I'm thinking." He was thinking if it would still be okay for Sanada to spend the night or if his mom would make Genichirou sleep in the living room. And would he be able to stay at Genichirou's house without Sanada's grandfather brandishing weaponry at him?  
  
The cushion connected with Yukimura's shoulder. "I'm making tea. Would you like some?" Sanada stood and gestured to the kitchen with a nod. "Come help me."  
  
Normally Seiichi didn't take orders from anyone, either. On this occasion, however, he thought it might be fun to see how many kisses he could get in while their parents were discussing how to properly reprimand them. "I would love tea, Genichirou. And then you can explain to me why you're throwing things like a Neanderthal."  
  
Sanada raised an eyebrow. The eyebrow said Sanada was going to be prissy and possibly deny Yukimura his kitchen kisses.  
  
If that was the case, Yukimura would have to resort to sneaky measures. Or possibly very direct manhandling.   
  
Sanada's prissy eyebrow remained.  
  
Yukimura always preferred the direct approach anyhow.


	35. Stay Cool (Silver Pair)

"Shishido-san, my foot's asleep." Ohtori wiggled his leg, trying to get it out from under Shishido's torso. "Shishido-san, I'm going to lose feeling in my foot." He tried again.  
  
"Hm? Choutarou? What time is it?" Shishido blinked to awareness. "What's going on?" He stared, perplexed at his head's proximity to Choutarou's pelvis. "Were we doing it? Did I fall asleep?"  
  
Ohtori rolled Shishido off his leg and began massaging the pins and needles out. "You were playing your PSP and fell asleep, Shishido-san. I was reading." He colored. "We weren't, ah, doing it."  
  
"Oh. Okay." Shishido stretched and jumped to his feet. "Did I win the game before I passed out?"  
  
"You fell asleep during the rescue operation. You died." Choutarou didn't sound at all sad that the game Shishido had been playing for four hours straight, during their first weekend alone in two months, had suddenly been all for naught. "I saved the game for you, though."   
  
Shishido dove for his PSP and turned it on. Choutarou'd saved with only one life left, right before the boss fight. He would have to do the entire game over again. "Hey Choutarou."  
  
"Shishido-san?" Ohtori had his sweatpants pulled up high on his thigh so he could massage his leg. His fingers glided over his calf before digging in.  
  
"Since, uh, I can't play my game and stuff, uh…" Shishido was never good at this part of the process. He liked it better when Ohtori handled it all but, for some reason, he had the impression that he was being punished.   
  
"Yes?" Ohtori spread his legs wide and wiggled them. "The feeling's back," he said, smiling. "You're pretty heavy when you're asleep, Shishido-san. And you snuggle."  
  
"Hey, you hungry? We could go get some burgers or something. My treat. You know, for falling asleep on you and stuff." Shishido set down his game and wondered why asking his boyfriend for carnal favors was harder than beating a zombie hoard away from six bystanders with naught but a lead pipe.  
  
"Sure, Shishido-san. I could eat." Ohtori stood. "Just let me change out of these pants. You drool in your sleep, Shishido-san."  
  
"I drool when I'm awake, too," Shishido grumbled to himself. "I'll go wait in the hallway or something."  
  
"Shishido-san?" Ohtori tossed his sweatpants into a laundry basket.  
  
Shishido tried not to stare or be otherwise uncool. "Yeah?"  
  
Ohtori sighed and stared up at the ceiling. It was, by no means, a new pose for him. "Wanna do it?"   
  
Shishido blushed and looked indignant, like the thought hadn't been racing through his brain on a loop all day and he hadn't been using video games to mask his mortification that he was still, after a year of dating, a complete failure at initiating anything with his boyfriend. He had to stay cool. Stay cool. "Sure, if you want to. Doesn't matter to me."  
  
"Oh." Ohtori smiled his quiet smile, the one he used right before he snapped things in twain. "I'll be ready to go in a second then." He grabbed a pair of pants and shimmied into them.  
  
Shishido reclaimed his PSP and trudged out of the room. Chaste, but still cool.


	36. The Best Laid Plans of Snakes (Inukai)

Kaidoh dug through racks and racks until he found them. They weren't boring, but they weren't as…festive as the old ones. They would work wonderfully. Now came the hard part.  
  
He knocked on Inui's door.  
  
"Oh, Kaidoh. You're early for training." Inui eyed the bag in Kaidoh's hands.   
  
"Here senpai. I bought this for you. For tonight." Kaidoh held up the bag. The sales lady even wrapped it up in nice paper and put some confetti in the bag. He lied and told her it was for his friend's birthday. It was a small lie, so he didn't feel too bad about it, and asking to get this kind of thing gift wrapped for another guy was embarrassing unless he had a good reason. Birthday sounded like a good enough reason.  
  
Inui ushered Kaidoh into the house and peeked into the bag. "Judging from the weight distribution and the size of the interior packaging, I estimate this is a piece of clothing."  
  
Kaidoh swallowed and nodded. He didn't want to insult Inui, but he didn't want to be mortified when they went out to the movies tonight, either. This had been the only way he could think of to show Inui how much he cared and prevent social disaster at the same time. "I hope you like it." He looked away because he was blushing and Inui's smile was playing Data Tennis with his stomach.  
  
Inui made short work of the paper, tearing into it like a toddler at Christmas. "This is…unexpected," he said, looking at the folded slacks. They were black with thin white pinstripes. Nothing too outlandish but not entirely boring, either. Kaidoh knew Inui would reject anything in a solid print.  
  
"Do you like them?"  
  
"Of course." Inui looped the pants over his arm and smiled at his doubles partner. "I have just the shirt to go with them. One moment."  
  
Kaidoh waited patiently while Inui brought out the shirt.  
  
"What do you think?" Inui modeled the pants, which fit perfectly. He also modeled a polyester shirt with multicolored Balinese dancers on it.  
  
Kaidoh was frozen, unable to speak until the cuckoo clock in the kitchen snapped him out of his horror. "It's time to train, senpai. We don't want to be late." While they ran, he'd start thinking of ways to destroy the shirt before it was time for their date. With his luck, though, Inui would just break out his collection of reflective ties and hats. Or wear a random cummerbund again.  
  
Someday his senpai would be presentable in public. They'd just have to take it one article of clothing at a time.


	37. Proposal (JackaBun)

Jackal couldn't wipe the grin off his face. "He said YES!" he hooted, giving a little jump and pumping his fist into the air in victory. He didn't think his proposal was going to be too much of a long shot – he and Bunta went to the same elementary school, after all, and they'd been sort of friends for a while – but nothing was too certain when it concerned Bunta. Bunta's brain worked in a way that normal brains didn't. Jackal was still trying to decide if that was a good thing or not.  
  
"Hey, we gonna practice or are you gonna just jump around all day and scare the freshman?" Marui bounced a ball on his racquet and popped his gum. "I can always take that yes back, ya know." He hit the ball toward Jackal with a light lob.   
  
Doing a small cha-cha, Jackal snatched the ball out of the air and danced toward his friend. "But you want to, don't you. You've been thinking about it, too, right?" He grinned; he couldn't help it. Oh victory. Oh sweet and wonderful victory!  
  
"Look I only said I'd play doubles with you because you were gonna cry. It's not like we're getting married." Marui rolled his eyes and hopped the net. "Your serve. If your game is crap, I'm going back to singles."  
  
Jackal's eyes followed Marui as he stomped to half court. Bunta had a sway in his walk that was really…  
  
"Serve!"  
  
Now that Jackal thought about it, his mom kinda walked like that. He grinned and shimmied to the baseline to serve, giving his cha-cha a little extra umph for Bunta's benefit. "I'm serving now, my honey."  
  
Marui was too busy glaring to return the ball. "I'm playing singles," he said. "You're a freak." He punctuated the sentiment with a pop of his gum and stalked off.  
  
Jackal heard a snicker from behind the fence. "So that's how you do it in Brazil, huh?" Niou covered his mouth, muffling his laughter.  
  
"Shut up. He's just adjusting." Jackal set his eyes on the clubhouse and his runaway doubles partner. "I'll go warm his cold feet." Jackal sprinted away sure that the fifth time around would be a charm.


	38. Better Than Data (YanaMaru)

"The chances of you succeeding are 0.00000002%. If you calculate optimistically."   
  
Sadaharu was an ass now that he had a boyfriend. Yanagi wasn't sure why he even called. Genichirou would have given better advice. "I appreciate your analysis, Sadaharu, but I believe my chances to be at least 84%. Your calculations must be flawed."  
  
In the background, Yanagi heard a muttered, "Senpai, the abacus tickles."  
  
"I'm hanging up now, Sadaharu. I'll text you with photos once I'm successful." He hung up before his old friend could say anything snide.  
  
With nationals over, the time was ripe for romantic pursuits. Being a hot blooded teenager, Yanagi decided to capitalize on his youth and select a mate for the remainder of the term. After a lengthy assessment of his needs and a few days of compatibility profiling, Yanagi selected Bunta. Bunta wasn't at the top of the profile – he was at the bottom, actually – but Bunta was cute, which overrode all other factors.   
  
Sadaharu could take his statistics and eat them.  
  
"You going to hog that vending machine all day?" The tensai in question elbowed Renji out of the way and selected a beverage. "Mom's on a health kick so all we've got in the house is iced tea and water. It sucks." Marui cradled his CC Lemon. "Good thing I have emergency change, right?"  
  
Chance! "I have a substantial savings from various investments throughout the year. If you like, I could purchase some beverages for you and assist you in sneaking them into your room." Crap, he was talking like Sadaharu. Bunta was never going to agree if he talked like a socially stunted braincase.   
  
"Cool. You can stay over tonight if you want. Everyone else is studying for exams. Booooring." Marui took a sip of his drink and looked back down the street, toward school. "I was gonna ask Jackal to come over and play some games on the Wii, but he thinks that Wii Tennis is a lame substitute for the real thing. He just…doesn't get it. I mean, it's _tennis_ but it's for the _Wii._ That's 100 times cooler than regular tennis, right?"  
  
Renji barely heard a thing because he was busy watching a drop of CC Lemon slide down the side of Marui's mouth. "I love Wii Tennis," he said. He'd never played it before, but if Marui liked it and it got him into Marui's house, then it was the best invention in the world.   
  
"Awesome!" Marui looped an arm around Yanagi's shoulders and started to drag him off down the street.  
  
"Just let me call my mother and let her know," Renji said, taking out his phone and stealthily taking a photo.   
  
Data: 0  
Hormones: 1


	39. Bears (Tezufuji)

There were thousands of them.  
  
"Tezuka?"  
  
Perhaps not thousands, but at least twenty, and they were all staring at him. He kicked one to the side.  
  
"Tezuka, are okay? Yumiko can take you home if you're feeling sick." Fuji grabbed onto Tezuka's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'd like you to stay, though."  
  
One was in a tuxedo, grinning at him with cherry red lips puckered up for a goodnight kiss from the one in the dress. Looking over the rim of his glasses, it looked like the one in the dress had his hair. "There are a lot of them here," he told Fuji, pushing another aside with his foot.  
  
"I collect them." Fuji bounded to a corner of the room and brought one back from a pile on his bed. "This is the first one. Do you remember it?"  
  
Tezuka stared down the teddy bear he'd given Fuji freshman year as a birthday present. He hadn't known what to get for the birthday party and figured a play on Fuji's signature tennis move would be appropriate since Kikumaru kept emailing him to say that tennis gifts were banned from the surprise party. The plush brown bear was soft and small enough to fit in Fuji's tennis bag.  
  
"I remember it," Tezuka said. "I'm glad you liked it."  
  
"It was so cute, I started collecting them." Fuji picked up a bear in a pirate costume. "Aren't they wonderful?"  
  
"Fantastic," He replied, feeling a chill up his spine. "Let's go watch television." He wanted out of the room and away from the glass-eyed spectators. If their relationship ever advanced, Tezuka would have to talk to Fuji about the bears. He didn't approve of voyeurs.


	40. The Best Method (Inukai)

Asking Inui to help him study had been a bad idea. Kaidoh thought that, if he asked Inui over, they could go over some math and literature, get a snack, then go over math and literature again until Kaidoh got it.   
  
Inui's idea of studying involved a large dry erase board and kitten puppets.  
  
"I have calculated that this is the most efficient method for you to assimilate the information." Inui gestured to the board using a puppet of a calico with a notched ear. "I have synthesized all of your interests into one learning activity." Inui cleared his throat. "Now then, listen to Dr. Fourpaws."  
  
Kaidoh listened as Inui, in a high pitched voice, explained how to solve for the area under a curve. Next time, he'd just ask Inui out on a date and reread the chapters in his books like he usually did.


	41. Signals (Sanayuki)

Yukimura was a problem, possibly an entire sack of problems. Sanada wasn't entirely sure he was up to the task of being Seiichi's fukubuchou, even given the implied benefits.  
  
"Sanada. Did we not discuss this earlier?" Yukimura waved toward a group of second years who, from the look of things, were about to pass out from heat exhaustion.   
  
"I gave them laps," Sanada said. He always interpreted Yukimura's Single Eyebrow Scowl to mean that whomever Yukimura was pointing to needed to run laps. Laps were doled out in sets of 20 according to how many times Yukimura cracked his knuckles before saying Sanada's name.   
  
Seiichi never actually gave any instructions to his fukubuchou, just gestures and vague comments. Sanada was half convinced that Yukimura had no idea what he was doing.  
  
Yukimura cleared his throat and tapped his foot. "Sanada." He looked to the regulars and cracked his knuckles, then massaged the side of his forehead.  
  
"I'll tell them." Sanada stormed off toward his teammates. "Regulars! To the ball machines! Freshman! Clean the court! Second years! Twenty laps!" The courts sprung to life and Sanada checked over his shoulder to make sure he'd interpreted the signal properly.  
  
Yukimura nodded in satisfaction before scowling. "Sanada! Ten laps! Hustle!"   
  
Sanada took a long, relaxing inhale before starting off on his laps. Ten might even give him enough time to himself to figure out what the Tapping Finger on Hip signal was supposed to mean.


	42. Property (Maruihara, D1)

There wasn't much Kirihara could say besides "Liar, liar pants on fire," so he chose to just glare at Niou and wait for Marui to show up. Bunta would set everything straight in no time.   
  
"Saw it with my own eyes," Niou snickered. He plucked out some dirt from under his fingernails. "They were all lovey dovey on the court. Jackal even copped a feel."  
  
If Jackal really copped a feel, Kirihara was going to rip his arms off. Everyone on the team knew; Kirihara made sure of that. He was going to have to make doubly sure now, though, since _some people_ didn't understand that he was the only one allowed to grope Bunta in public or otherwise.  
  
"This is a real meeting of the minds," Marui said as he and Yagyuu walked into the clubhouse. "You guys deciding who gets control of the shared brain today?"   
  
Uh oh. Bunta was pissed about something. He only pulled out the shared brain insult when he was one incident away from dumping Kirihara and going out with that annoying guy from the volleyball team. "I didn't do it," Kirihara said. "It's Niou-senpai's fault!" Blaming Niou was a team standard, and it usually worked.  
  
"Is that true, Niou-kun?" Yagyuu's glasses glinted.  
  
Niou pulled at his rattail. "I admit nothing." He gave his hair another tug. "What'm I being blamed for?"  
  
"Touching things that don't belong to you," Marui snarled. He glared at Kirihara. "I know you're both in on it. Just confess and we'll make this as painful and quick as possible."  
  
Kirihara didn't know Bunta's knuckles could crack like that. Or that Bunta had fangs.  
  
"Whatever Jackal's been tellin' you's a lie. I didn't touch the kid." Niou waved the matter off and moved toward Yagyuu. "Why settle when I've got the best doubles partner in – ow! Dammit, that hurt!" He moved his head away from Yagyuu's fist. "You're gonna cause brain damage if you hit people like that."  
  
"Not much to damage," Marui grumbled. Niou gave him the finger. "And what do you mean you didn't touch him?" He looked from Kirihara to Niou and back. "One of you bastards ate my cake and I want you to confess now."  
  
"And my golf pants are missing," Yagyuu said, tapping his racquet in his palm. "They will be returned by the time we get out of the shower or there will be consequences, understood?"  
  
Kirihara had no idea where Yagyuu's golf pants were, but he did remember seeing Buchou feeding something to Fukubuchou while the rest of them were doing laps. He told Marui of his findings.  
  
Marui snatched Yagyuu's racquet and stomped out of the clubhouse, grumbling about marzipan and his new two-handed racquet retribution technique. Kirihara followed after because he still wanted to make sure Jackal understood the rules. Also, watching Bunta yell at Buchou was more fun than watching Yagyuu look for lost pants that Niou probably stole for perverted purposes. If Akaya wanted to bear witness to pant perversion, he'd buy Bunta some spandex.


	43. Love Nudge (Maruihara)

"We're in public. Knock it off." Marui drew his arm away from Akaya's and continued texting Jackal about the movie they'd just seen. It was sappy and boring, just like Marui thought it would be, but Kirihara seemed to like those kinds of movies so he tolerated it once a month.   
  
Kirihara dragged his feet along the pavement. "You're ashamed of me," he grumbled. The heroine in the movie said the same thing right before the tanned hero swept her off the street and proposed.   
  
"I'm trying to keep us from getting mugged. Stop walking like that or you're gonna wear out your shoes. You just got those." Marui stopped walking, sent the text through, and stared at the ground. "I sound like my mom," he said. He felt a little sick to his stomach.  
  
Akaya nudged Marui with his elbow. It was their safe form of touching when at school. "You don't sound like my mom," Akaya said. "She has a deviated septum so she sounds like a goose a lot of the time." He gave Bunta another love nudge. "You're cuter, too."  
  
"Okay, fine." Marui grabbed Akaya's hand. "Two blocks, that's it."  
  
Bunta couldn't do the spinny thing in the street – there was no way he was going to try lifting Akaya up – but he could do a couple minutes of handholding. He was probably never going to see the people on the street again anyway, unless they passed the pastry shop and his mom was there getting dessert, then they were screwed.


	44. Medical Attention (Tezufuji)

Fuji's arm was immobile, covered in three ace bandages and an air cast.  
  
"We're being cautious," Tezuka said, testing the tension on the bandages one last time. "Is it too tight?" He tested again. "Circulation is important."  
  
"Tezuka." Fuji tried to prod at his captain with his elbow but the arm wouldn't move. It was like being encased in a rubber band; all the effort he gave just bounced the arm back to his side. "I can't practice like this, Tezuka."  
  
"You'll rest today." Tezuka gathered the scattered remains of the emergency kit. The medical tape was all but used and no gauze remained.   
  
Fuji wondered how things would have turned out had he done more than cut the tip of his thumb on the fence.


	45. Little One (Inukai)

"Your son's so adorable!" A woman in red high heels and a short black skirt bounced up and grabbed Kaidou's arm. He would have pulled away, but the baby he was carrying would fall. If the baby fell onto the ground, Kaidou wasn't just in trouble; his aunt would kill him.

"It's my cousin," Kaidou corrected. "And thank you." He bounced the baby a bit to keep him from screaming when the lady's face came too close. Like most of the family, the child didn't appreciate touchy-feely things from strangers.

"So cute!" Another woman ran up, bringing her friend with her. "How old is he?"

"Four months," Kaidou said, taking a step back. "I'm sorry. We have to go." He tried to walk away, but the women followed him like an exhaust cloud. He had to find a way to escape.

"Kaidou!" Inui waved from a few feet away. He cut through the afternoon street crowd to get to his kouhai. "Do you think it was wise to take him out in this weather?" He reached for the baby and Kaidou gave the burden up, happy that he could stop cuddling things in public. It was embarrassing. 

"Thank you, senpai." Kaidou's aunt had approved Inui as a babysitter shortly after the child's birth. Even though Inui creeped adults out on a regular basis, his presence seemed to keep the baby calm.

"And how is little Sadaharu-kun today?" Inui asked the baby. Inui still believed that Kaidou had a hand in the baby's naming but, really, it was just a coincidence. Kaidou only suggested the name a few times. His aunt probably wasn't even listening when he did.

Baby Sadaharu gurgled and reached up toward Inui's glasses.

"Senpai, I don't have a changing bag. We should go to your place and make sure he's okay." Kaidou tried to tune out the whispers from the woman that were still watching the baby. What the whispers were suggesting was anatomically impossible. Also gross.

Inui chuckled and balanced the baby in one arm, then, using the free arm, he hooked his hand around Kaidou's and pulled. "He's probably hungry, too. I'll make him something."

"No Jiru."

The sun reflected off of Inui's glasses and little Sadaharu reached up again, this time managing to get a bit of Inui's hair but not the glasses. 

Kaidou gave his cousin a thumbs up before curling his fingers and enjoying an afternoon walk with his two Sadaharus.


	46. Sortation (Chiquita)

"You've been doing this your entire life, Kippei. The magazines get bundled and put over there. The PET bottles go in that bag and we store it in the closet until it's full. We take weird stuff out on the third Monday of the month." Chitose rolled his eyes and removed the collapsible umbrella from the trash bin. "This goes with the weird stuff."  
  
Yes, Kippei had been sorting the recycling all of his life, but the way Senri sorted things made absolutely no sense. None.  
  
"Banana peels go into the green bucket, Kippei. Then we take it downstairs when it's full and put it in the community compost pile. I can't be the ecological counselor for the complex if we can't even get our compost right."  
  
Tachibana thought about just eating the banana peel in his hand. It would be easier than navigating through the green compost bucket, the blue bucket for rain collection (that had no rain in it, just a lot of random crap), and the red bucket for…whatever that yellowish green stuff in it was. Finally, he threw the peel into the green bin, then stomped to the entryway.  
  
"Where are you going? We're supposed to help plant flowers in an hour." Chitose shook a seed packet at him.  
  
"I'm going to get a black bucket," Tachibana said, sliding on his shoes. "And I'm not sharing."


	47. A Touch of Lavender (Maruihara)

Kirihara was prepared. He had chapstick, breath mints, and saxophone music on his iPod. His clothes were well laundered and he'd even sprayed them down with some lavender linen spray he stole from his sister's room. When last Kirihara stole his sister's diary, she'd been wearing lavender smelling clothes when she and her boyfriend made it to third base.   
  
"Hey." Marui kicked Kirihara's ankle with a socked foot. "You said nobody's coming home for a few hours, right?"  
  
Akaya licked his lips and looked longingly – at least he hoped it was longingly - at Bunta. Before the kiss there was supposed to be a long gaze, then they were supposed to inch forward, resist a little for show, then start necking. "Yeah, senpai, it'll be a few hours." He scooted closer, pushing Marui into the arm of the small couch. "Anything special you want to do?"  
  
"Idiot." Marui leaned over and placed a dry, scratchy kiss to Kirihara's cheek. "Now stop giving me pervy looks and turn on the TV." Bunta's cheeks were red and his hands were shaking on his lap.  
  
Kirihara couldn't resist. He leaned over his senpai and gave him a proper kiss, one with wet lips and a tight embrace.  
  
When they moved apart, they stared at one another. Kirihara wasn't sure it was in longing, but more in the vein of "oh god, did we just do that in my living room?" Akaya grinned and moved in again, closing his eyes for what was bound to be an even better kiss.  
  
Kirihara opened his eyes when his lips met the dirty back of the remote control. "TV," Marui said. "We can try it again during a commercial or something." His cheeks were still red and his hands were still shaking. Akaya's were, too.


	48. Marketing (Sanakiri)

Sanada preferred his life to be normal. Normal meant that Sanada would be able to go to the grocery store without scenes.  
  
"Fukubuchou! Check it out!" Kirihara lifted a small brown bottle off the shelf. "It's for stamina! Buy it!"  
  
"No." An old lady with too much broccoli in her basket looked at them and smiled around her crooked, yellow teeth. Her smile said that a young man like Sanada shouldn't have to worry about his stamina. Well the old bat didn't know a thing about Akaya, who was less a boy and more a gigantic, annoying battery.  
  
"But you were all slow yesterday and I got bored." Kirihara grabbed a second bottle and dropped them into Sanada's basket. "Just try 'em. Please?"  
  
Sanada had long practice in resisting puppy dog faces. Not only was his cousin the most adorable and manipulative girl in her second grade class, but Sanada's mother could also pull a fairly good pout when she wanted to.   
  
"Please Fukubuchou?" Kirihara's puppy face wasn’t so much cute as it was pathetic. It was pathetic because old ladies were looking at his display, knowing full well that whatever he was pouting about wasn't pout-worthy, but oh, look at that sweet young man putting so much effort into it. Kirihara got pity because his puppy face looked like a constipated gerbil with rabies, not because he had any skill in the expression.  
  
Also, Sanada was a sucker and always gave Kirihara what he wanted in the end, even if Akaya's whining was attracting the attention of everyone in the beverages aisle. "Fine," Sanada said, adjusting the drinks in the basket. "We'll try it. Once."  
  
Kirihara pumped his fist in victory. "And how about the bubble bath? You said we could try that, too!"  
  
Sanada made for the cashier before Akaya had a chance to beg further. He could lower his pride enough to purchase the stamina drinks, but the bubble bath – he shivered – the things Kirihara wanted to do with the bubble bath were…wrong.


	49. Green (Inukai)

Kaidou's room décor was of questionable content. The kitty postcard Kaidou hid behind his headboard was cute. The seventeen posters of Rafael Nadal were unacceptable. Yes, the man was exceptional at tennis. Yes – and this was Kaidou's excuse for the posters – he also was partial to green bandanas, but the fact remained that there were seventeen pictures of Nadal and not a single photograph of Inui.  
  
"Kaidou." Inui put his hand on his kouhai's shoulder. "I thought we might go out shopping. There is a picture booth I would like to try." The invitation wasn't subtle, but subtle never worked with Kaidou.  
  
"Shouldn't we be studying, senpai? You said my grades were going to slip if I didn't study this weekend."  
  
That had been Inui's brilliant plan to sequester them in Kaidou's room for the weekend. Inui didn't know that the Nadal posters would have increased by fifteen in the two weeks since he'd been to Kaidou's room.   
  
"I believe, Kaidou, that an excursion will help clear your head." He gave a pointed look to a shirtless Nadal. "The décor is also distracting for you."  
  
Kaidou shrugged. "Not really." He looked around. "It's quiet in here, and Hazue stopped bugging me since I put the posters up." He looked at Inui, his eyes boring deep down. "Senpai? Is this about the posters?"  
  
There really was no point in lying. Kaidou would be upset and, if Kaidou was upset, he wouldn't invite Inui over anymore, delaying their relationship progression. Inui wanted to be at first base by the end of the school year. It was an optimistic goal, considering how traditional Kaidou was, but Inui chose to remain positive. And, once they broke that first kiss barricade, other things would come easier, he was sure.  
  
"You don't have any photos of me," Inui said.   
  
Kaidou opened his bedside drawer. "They're all in here, senpai. I didn't want Hazue getting fingerprints on them."  
  
Inui looked into the drawer. Their first tennis match as an official doubles pair, their trip to the amusement park, one of their training sessions by the river, all of it was there, filling the drawer to capacity.  
  
"Oh." Inui couldn't repress his grin. He outnumbered Nadal by at least thirty. "I understand."  
  
"Good." Kaidou closed the drawer. "Buy me lunch?"  
  
"Absolutely." As they left, Inui smirked at one of the posters. Then he tore the bastard off the wall. His analysis said sixteen were enough to keep Hazue out of the room while they were away. He would calculate the fate of the others when he and Kaidou returned.


	50. Myth of Convenience (SenBe)

It was the silly things that Atobe did that endeared him to Sengoku.  
  
"Get it away!"   
  
Cowering from frogs was one of those things. So was Atobe's periwinkle umbrella with Mickey Mouse ears on it. He said it was very expensive and Sengoku wouldn't be able to appreciate its quality. Sengoku's cousin had one that she'd bought at Tokyo Disneyland, but hers had a grape juice stain on it.  
  
"What do I get if I make it move?" Sengoku asked, pointing to the frog. The rain misted down around them. Sengoku used his umbrella to cover them both while Atobe's retracted umbrella served as both pointing stick and emergency defense weapon.  
  
In his panic, Atobe was able to spare a moment to sneer at his companion. "You'll have my gratitude. That's enough of a reward for _you._ "  
  
Sengoku stepped back. "Have a nice day, Mr. Frog. Please don't give Keigo any warts."  
  
"Warts!?" Atobe raced to Sengoku's side. "We are going home," Atobe said. "You will make me cocoa and verify that I have not been infected by one of those…things." He pointed to the frog with the umbrella.   
  
Sengoku slid his arm around Atobe's shoulders. "Sure, I'll check for you." He would be thorough. Very, very thorough.


	51. Lunch of Hours (Hyoutei)

"It isn't that Shishido-san doesn't care," Ohtori said, staring at a carrot stick. "He just has trouble expressing himself in inoffensive ways."  
  
Kabaji nodded and continued to drink miso soup from a thermos.  
  
Ohtori bit off a chunk of carrot and kept talking. "Yesterday, when he said I needed to get my ass off the court and start lifting more weights so my serve doesn't suck, he was trying to be nice. He meant to say that I was putting too much strain on my arm and I would hurt myself if I didn't get more muscle behind it." Carrot stick gone, Ohtori turned near tearful eyes to his juicebox. He held it to his cheek and condensation ran down his chin like a tear.  
  
Kabaji started in on his sandwich.  
  
"We're going to be a great doubles team," Ohtori said, still hugging his juicebox. "Right?"  
  
Kabaji looked up from his sandwich. If he didn't say something, Ohtori would talk right through to dessert, ruining everything.   
  
"Uhs."


	52. For the Future (JackaBun)

Marui had a brother on each hip and was wearing an apron.  
  
Jackal took photos with his phone and grinned. "You look great," he said. And he meant it. Bunta was, in that moment, the essence of everything Jackal was looking for in a wife.  
  
"Fuck off." Marui tried to give Jackal the finger but, in his attempt, almost lost hold of one of his brothers. He only managed to get the finger crooked a bit.  
  
"Not in front of the children," Jackal chided. He would have taken one of the boys, but he wasn't too comfortable holding toddlers, and Ryuichi and Hiroki were flexing their fingers like they wanted to claw through Jackal's skull. A mishap the week before had given the brats a taste for Jackal's blood. Now they laughed whenever Jackal stubbed a toe or ran into things because he was too distracted by Bunta's swishing hips or-  
  
"Pervert!" Hiroki chimed, pointing to Jackal.  
  
"Pervert!" Ryuichi agreed.  
  
Bunta bounced them on his hips. "Good kids, huh?" He turned to head back into the house. "They learn quick, too. Tensai genes, you know."  
  
Jackal watched the brothers Marui head into their house and hesitated before following them inside. Maybe, when puberty hit, he could pay the brats back. He was a patient guy - he had to be with a doubles partner like Bunta – so he was prepared to wait to exact his revenge. The moment one of them went on a date, Jackal-nii would be there with a memory card full of photos and select sound bits.  
  
Patience. Patience.


	53. Study (Maruihara)

Kirihara dangled off the back of Marui's couch, watching his senpai study for year-end exams. Marui-senpai didn't really need to study – he didn't have to take any entrance exams to get into high school at Rikkai – but Bunta's mom was upset about the test Bunta almost failed last month. Kirihara would have liked to come to Bunta's aid and say that it wasn't Marui's fault he got such a bad mark, but explaining that Bunta neglected his studies in favor of rolling around Kirihara's bedroom floor without his shirt on probably wasn't going to fly.  
  
"You just gonna stand there?" Marui turned from his notebook, frowning. "I told you not to come over today."  
  
"I'm here for moral support, senpai." Actually, Kirihara was there to take advantage when Bunta's brain turned to gelatin from too much history. Niou-senpai said Kirihara didn't have the guts to make the Big Move on Marui-senpai, but Kirihara was going to prove him wrong. Bunta was going to have, at minimum, five hickies on him in conspicuous places before Monday.   
  
Fukubuchou always said that Akaya had to be more goal-oriented.  
  
"Go make me a snack, then. I'm starving."   
  
It was no good; he just couldn't get in the mood when Bunta had his nose in a book. Maybe if Bunta was wearing some cute megane or those really short pajama shorts he wore when he slept over at Akaya's place the mood might strike, but Bunta was in a thrift store chastity sweatsuit that made him look kinda dumpy against the fluffy cushions of the couch. Suck.  
  
"Uh, you want peanut butter or something else, senpai?"   
  
Tomorrow Akaya would definitely get somewhere. Bunta only had one sweatsuit, and Akaya could pay off the twins to destroy it. Besides, tomorrow Bunta was supposed to study literature, and that always put him to sleep. Asleep was 100 times easier to molest than bored.   
  
Yeah. Tomorrow he'd definitely leave his mark.


	54. Nice is for Wussies (Rikkai)

The laughing was getting on Akaya's nerves. If his aunt hadn't made him promise to be nice, his stupid cousin would be outside, duct taped to a chair.   
  
Playing nice was for wussies.  
  
"You seem troubled." Mizuki Hajime slung his arm around Kirihara's shoulders. "Let your beloved cousin help."  
  
Kirihara shrugged off the arm. "Don't touch me. And I don't need help. I’m fine." It was true; everything in life was going well. He was going to be captain next year, his mom finally caved and bought him a Wii, and Marui-senpai finally agreed to go out with him.  
  
Then Marui-senpai cancelled the date because he had doubles practice with Jackal-senpai, but he rescheduled. He said that he forgot that they made the date months ago. _Date._ That was what he called it. He cancelled his date with Akaya because he had a date with Jackal.  
  
"Hmmm. You need to woo him." Mizuki's arm was back around Kirihara's shoulder. "First, flowers to show your adoration. Tell him how beautiful he is. Then poetry." Mizuki tapped his chest. "From the heart. Written especially for the occasion. Of course, if you need some assistance, I have a variety of compositions I could lend you. For a fee, of course."  
  
The frightening thing was that Kirihara had been contemplating flowers and a poem. It worked for guys on TV all the time. But, if Mizuki was saying it was a good idea, it probably wasn't. He'd stick with plan A. Sure it was a little violent, and Bunta got kinda annoyed when Kirihara was too violent, but some things just had to be done.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
Akaya turned to his cousin and grinned. Blinking red eyes and tapping his racquet on his shoulder he answered, "Practice."


	55. Sacking Up (NiouMaru)

This was a completely new and disgusting low.  
  
"Hey."   
  
Still, there was no way he could avoid it.  
  
"Hey! I'm talking to you!"  
  
He'd seriously tried to avoid it, but it just gave him weird-ass dreams and kept him distracted during practice, so he might as well sack up and just deal, right? Besides, it wasn't like he was the only one on the team who was _that way._ There was Sanada and Yukimura, posterchildren for the gay tennis world. He could be into girly-looking guys if he wanted to be.   
  
And he wouldn't be a pansy about it like Sanada; he'd just march up and demand a date.  
  
"Hey!"   
  
"What the hell are you yellin' about?" Marui Bunta popped a bubble in Niou's face. It was that kind of rude, shitty attitude that Niou liked most about him.  
  
"I'm taking you to a buffet after practice, so make sure you shower and don't embarrass me." There. That wasn't so hard.   
  
Marui stared, then he began to grin that big, freshman-eating grin of his. "You make enough allowance to keep me in snacks all week, every week?"  
  
Niou winked. "You know I do." He could shake up enough lunch money to cover any need Marui might have. If worse came to worse, he could mooch some cash off of Jackal, just like everyone else on the team.


	56. Lost Little Things (Maruihara)

Seigaku was his last hope. That, in and of itself, was stupid. What was even more stupid was that he'd gone all over the place looking for the brat. That Yukimura chose him, of all people, for the mission was also adding to his general sense of pissiness. If there weren't ice cream of snacks involved after this, the kid could just find his own way home next time. Fans across the nation were begging for snippets of Marui Bunta's time…well, perhaps only one really creepy fan, but still, he didn't have to put up with this kind of crap.  
  
"Rikkai." The short kid with the hat pointed his racquet at Marui's stomach.   
  
"Chill guard chibi, I'm lookin' for someone." Marui sidestepped the racquet and walked toward the courts. Jackpot.  
  
"Let's play a game!" Kirihara was tugging on Tezuka Kunimitsu's jersey sleeve.  
  
"What are you, nine?" Marui jogged to the court and pulled Kirihara away from the Seigaku captain. "Yukimura's gonna kick your ass when he hears about this."  
  
"Don't tell Buchou!" Kirihara's eyes were wide. They were probably supposed to be puppy eyes, but it looked like he was trying to get an eyelash out or was waiting to pop in a contact lens.  
  
"Shut up. You're paying me back for the bus. And taking me to dinner. And dessert. And breakfast this weekend."  
  
Kirihara smiled, wide and bright. "Awesome!"  
  
"Idiot." Marui bonked his kouhai on the head. "It's not a _reward_."  
  
"If I buy you stuff, will you tell Buchou?"   
  
Marui thought about it then shrugged. "Hold up your end and I'll hold up mine. I won't tell him you were messing around at Seigaku."  
  
"You're the best!"  
  
Marui didn't smile because Kirihara was hugging him. He didn't even smile because he was getting a free meal. He was smiling because he was imagining Kirihara's face when Yukimura found out that he'd frittered the day away at St. Rudolph.


	57. Souvenir (Seigaku)

Momo stared at the item on Kaidou's lap. Kaidou said he bought it during break, when Inui-senpai's family invited him to Russia on their "family knowledge expedition." (It was what nerds did instead of going to the hot springs or the beach like normal people.)  
  
"What?" Kaidou adjusted the item and glared. "Twenty laps if you've got nothing to do."   
  
Making Kaidou captain had been a bad idea. Momo was the only one who argued about it, though, so nobody believed him. Clearly the…thing would convince everyone.   
  
"Mamushi, you brought a plushie to practice. It's weird." It was also kinda girlie. They didn't want the other teams thinking Seigaku was run by a girl, did they?   
  
"It's a mascot." Kaidou held his stuffed cat closer. "Inui-senpai said I didn't have to hide it."  
  
Momo stepped back. He wasn't going to start an "Inui-senpai is lying to you" conversation again. The last time he did that, his nose was broken and Kaidou tore out a patch of his hair. "Whatever," he said. "It's weird."   
  
He started off on his laps before Kaidou's fist had a reunion with his nose.


	58. His and HIs (KenZai)

Looking at the pair of them, Yuuji no longer felt bad about Koharu's underwear fetishes or his own tendency to ask Koharu to wear masks. Any weird stuff - _really_ weird stuff - they got up to, they did behind doors, where nobody would see it. Sure Koharu would tell everyone about it (sometimes Yuuji did too, but only because some people didn't shut up about their own boring, "adult" lives), but they had a silent agreement to never let the world be witness to the true depths of their "couples love."  
  
They certainly never wore matching sweatsuits. And never in aqua.  
  
"What're you lookin' at?" Kenya tugged on his sweatshirt, pulling it down over his hips. "Got a problem?"  
  
Yuuji's problem was that he was trying not laugh. The aqua-ness of the sweatsuits wouldn't have been bad, but the "His" and "His" printed across the seat and pelvis were…distracting. And dumb.  
  
"Come on, senpai, let's do some warm-ups." Zaizen tugged Kenya onto the court, smacking him right in the His.  
  
Maybe Yuuji would make Koharu wear one of the masks at tomorrow's practice. He'd put a "His" on it, too.


	59. Delivery Delay (Silver Pair)

Ohtori was looking at him expectantly, as if Shishido was supposed to say something, something lame and mushy from the look of it. "Something wrong?" he asked his kouhai.   
  
"I was just thinking how nice it is to get things in the _mail._ Don't you like getting things in the _mail_ , Shishido-san?" Ohtori gave a big grin, one that made the corners of his eyes crinkle. Shishido's grandparents had a dog that did that. It was kinda cute, you know, for a dog and stuff.  
  
"Listen Choutarou, my mom said she'd ground my ass if I didn't have my homework done before she came home so, uh, if you don't need anything…"  
  
Ohtori ignored him and started leafing through the documents on the kitchen table. "It should be here," he grumbled.  
  
"Hey Choutarou, that's my mom's stuff."  
  
"Just a second, Shishido-san."  
  
If he were less of a loser, he might have stopped Ohtori from upsetting the delicate balance of his mother's correspondence pile. He wasn't, though, and Choutarou looked really cute when he was frantically looking for things.  
  
Ohtori's phone rang, some classical music stuff whose name Shishido had never caught, even though Ohtori'd told him a million times.  
  
"Mom? Yeah? What! No! Don’t open it! I'll be home to get it in a minute." Choutarou put his hand over the speaker of his phone. "I've got to go, Shishido-san. I…there's something I need to give you, but I didn't put enough postage so it came back and…Mom! I said don't open it!"  
  
"Hey, if you want I can-" Shishido was cut off as Ohtori raced past him and out the front door, barely sliding into his shoes as he skidded toward the sidewalk.  
  
Shishido shrugged and went to start his homework. Tomorrow, when he got whatever it was in the mail, he'd be sure to look surprised and pleased. Assuming Choutarou's mom didn't open whatever it was and ground Choutarou for life.


	60. Graduation (NiouMaru)

There was no reason to get all weepy about it. It was just graduation, and not even a real graduation. They weren't going anywhere different. Still, there were _some_ people on the team who might be lame enough to start bawling.  
  
"What d'you want?" Marui popped a bubble in Niou's face.  
  
"Oh nothing, just wanted to let you know that I'll be here if you need a shoulder to cry on." Niou had tried the subtle approach last week and it went over the alleged tensai's head completely. He had until they walked out of the school grounds today to get a date or he was buying Yagyuu lunch all of next year. "Jackal told me about how hard elementary school graduation was on you and I thought I'd, you know, be there for you and stuff."  
  
"I cried because that idiot fell on me and I broke one of my toes." Marui's eyes narrowed. "He really tell you that I cried for some sissy reason?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
Marui looked off toward where the rest of the team was gathering. "Hey, do me a favor?"  
  
Niou tried for a sultry smile. "Sure. Anything you want."   
  
"Tell Yukimura I'm playing singles next year. My doubles partner is about to meet an untimely end." Marui cracked his knuckles. "After I kill Jackal, you wanna go out?"  
  
"Out?"  
  
"Yeah. You know, out."  
  
"Out, out?"  
  
Pop. "Are you retarded?" Marui held up a hand. "Don't answer that question, just wait here and decide where we're going."  
  
While Marui stomped off toward Jackal, Niou straightened out the suit he'd been forced to wear for the ceremony. As fast as he could, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and emailed Yagyuu, then slipped the phone back into hiding before any of the teachers could scold him.  
  
"Yes, Niou-kun?" Yagyuu walked up, adjusting his glasses.  
  
"We're going on a date after this. You owe me some lunches." Finally, after a year of losing bets, Niou was finally in the winner's circle. The victory was going to be sweet.  
  
Yagyuu smiled. "I believe our wager was that _you_ would ask Marui-kun out and he would accept. From what I have been informed, it was Marui-kun who asked you out, correct?"  
  
Damn it.  
  
"In that case, Niou-kun, it would be you who owe me lunches. However, as an earlier bet turned sour, I will ask you to transfer your lunch purchases to Marui-kun." Yagyuu smiled, slow and crisp. He patted Niou on the shoulder. "Don't say I never did anything for my doubles partner."  
  
Niou watched Yagyuu walk away, have a conversation with a returning Marui, and disappear into the crowd of graduates.  
  
"Hey," Niou said as Marui approached.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"You wanna play doubles with me next year? I think both our partners are about to break some limbs."


	61. Zip Zip (Tezufuji)

"I can fix it."  
  
"That's okay, Tezuka. I can do without." Fuji casually folded his hands over his busted zipper. They were camping, and nobody was around to care if Fuji's zipper was stuck half undone. Once the pants with the fish entrails on them were washed, he'd be fine. It would only take…a few hours.  
  
"I can fix it." Tezuka moved forward as if to give the zipper a go.  
  
The last time Tezuka tried to fix Fuji's clothing was a disaster. Fuji's favorite shirt, which only had a hole in the elbow, now had a Frankenstein stitch up half the arm. Tezuka wanted to be "thorough" in his repair. Tezuka repairing metal gadgets in a _very dangerous location_ was not something Fuji was willing to chance.  
  
"Really, Tezuka, I like it this way. It's very…freeing." He stepped away. "I'm going to wash my other pants now. You just go over there and fish some more."  
  
At the mention of fishing, Tezuka turned toward the gear he'd abandoned when he heard Fuji cursing his zipper. "Okay."  
  
Once Tezuka was settled in his folding chair, humming to himself, Fuji went a little further down the lakeside and began to quickly wash his good pants. There was a small hole on the inside of the thigh where a fishing hook snagged him but, with any luck, Tezuka wouldn't notice it.


	62. What If (SenBe)

"What are you implying!?"  
  
Sengoku ducked his head and stepped away from Atobe. "I'm not implying anything. I was just saying that if you were a chick you'd be really hot." And Atobe would be hot. Probably no more than a B cup, but hot. "It's a compliment."  
  
"Your _compliment_ is neither appreciated nor required. Be gone."   
  
Yeah, Sengoku could see Atobe as a girl, easy. He'd probably have a good set of hips and wear lots of bangle bracelets.   
  
"Be gone!" Atobe's foot connected with Sengoku's shin. "And take your perversions with you."  
  
"I thought you said my perversions could stay as long as I remembered to not be seen by any of your teammates." That he was Atobe's dirty little secret wasn't really a bad thing, just a slight inconvenience for the moment. Everybody already knew; Atobe just didn't know they knew. "Anyway, about the girl cosplay-"  
  
"There will be no girl cosplay. And no cat ears. And no fuzzy socks."   
  
Sengoku looked down to the green fuzzy socks Atobe was wearing. "You said you liked the fuzzy socks, Keiko-chan."  
  
Atobe hastily kicked off the socks. "Get out of my house." He pointed to the door.  
  
"Sure. I'll pick you up tomorrow for dinner. Wear something pretty." Sengoku hustled out of the Atobe manor before Keigo could call security. The burly foreigners the family hired were rough and didn't make allowances for jokes made in the spirit of love. Hopefully tomorrow, when he brought Keigo a pretty dress to wear, the security guards would be too distracted to tase him. Again.


	63. Goat Aversion (NiouKiri)

"Don't touch it."  
  
"It's a petting zoo, so I can touch it if I wanna." Akaya shoved past Niou and toward the waiting goat. His senpai promised they'd go on a date and this lame petting zoo was probably all Niou-senpai could afford. If Kirihara had to settle on date locales, he was going to pet every animal in the zoo. Twice.  
  
Niou tugged him back. "Anything else is fine, but not the goat." He looked to the white goat and shuddered. "There's camel rides over there. Let's go do that."  
  
"I want to pet the goat."   
  
"No goats. They have diseases."  
  
Kirihara doubted that a goat that every kid in the zoo touched would have diseases. He also doubted that Niou-senpai would tell him the real reason they weren't going to pet the goat. Still, Kirihara had to try weaseling the reason out of his senpai. It was his obligation, and Yanagi-senpai would pay good money for the information. With that kind of cash, they could go on a date to somewhere that wasn't lame.  
  
"Did a goat bite you?" Kirihara asked, letting Niou pull him toward the camels.  
  
"No. Drop it." Niou scratched at the back of his head, which meant Kirihara was close.  
  
"Did _you_ bit a goat?" Reverse the question, then interrogate more; that was the technique Buchou taught him.   
  
"You wanna go home?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then drop it."   
  
Kirihara's shoulders dropped and he refused to look at his senpai.  
  
"I'll, uh, buy you an ice cream or something. Hold on." Niou hustled off toward a snack vendor.  
  
Score. Not only was Kirihara getting ice cream, but Niou-senpai was definitely a goat-biter. With the money Niou's little secret would provide, he was taking them to Disney Sea. There might even be enough to buy them some of those sequined mouse ears.


	64. Under Cover (Shitenhouji)

"It's a tattoo, right? You can tell me. I won't say anything." Chitose poked at Shiraishi's arm.  
  
"It's not a tattoo, now back the hell off." Shiraishi was used to be accosted in the showers – thanks to Koharu, the entire team was – but there was a general agreement that Shiraishi's bandages were off limits. Someone needed to explain the rules to the new guy.  
  
Chitose squeezed shampoo onto his hands and ran it through his hair. The hair did not lose any volume, nor did it appear to take on any water. Disgusting. "I was just tryin' to figure it out since it's kinda weird."  
  
A guy who wore woven tunics every day of his life had no right to call his bandages weird. Shiraishi turned off his shower and walked away.  
  
"Hey!" Chitose followed, hair still coated in suds. "You going to ignore me? What are you, five?" The newcomer grabbed onto Shiraishi's arm. "You're upset because I guessed right, huh? You really have ink under there?"  
  
"You're so curious then fine." Shiraishi unwrapped the bandage. "Happy?"  
  
Chitose stared. "Oh. I, uh, guess it's not a tattoo, huh?"  
  
Shiraishi wrapped his arm back up, covering over his literature notes. "No," he said, "It's not. Now leave me alone."  
  
"Hey, uh, you mind if I copy off you? I keep falling asleep so…"  
  
"Fine. Go rinse that crap off your hair. I'll be here."  
  
Chitose hustled back to the showers and, while he was presumably attending to the disaster he called his hair, Shiraishi threw on his pants and left. If asked – and he would be asked, by everybody – he would deny ever having removed the bandages. Nobody would believe what the new kid said, anyway.


	65. The Missing Piece (Shitenhouji)

"That is five hundred kinds of wrong." Chitose poked at the object in question with his racquet. So far, he was the bravest of the group. Everyone else was cowering behind a changing bench. Even Koharu wasn't going anywhere near it, and Chitose _knew_ his teammate had far worse things in his locker.  
  
"Why is it so…shiny?" Kintarou poked his head out from behind Gin.   
  
"That's the evil stored up inside of it," Gin answered, pushing Kintarou back behind him. The team agreed that Gin would be babysitter while Chitose removed the item.  
  
"Antiseptic ready?" Chitose asked Shiraishi. Once he removed the thing with his racquet, he wanted to disinfect his precious possession.  
  
"Antiseptic ready."  
  
"I'm going in."   
  
The removal went quickly. The offending item was placed in the trash and covered with paper towels Zaizen collected from the bathroom. Chitose doused his racquet in antiseptic and the entire team decided never to speak of the incident again.  
  
"Hey guys." Osamu entered the clubhouse, scratching at his matted hair. "You guys seen my underwear? I think I left 'em around here last night." He scratched at his head again.  
  
"Nothing. We've seen nothing," Chitose said, the rest of the team mumbling along after him. "We're gonna go run laps now. Good luck finding your thong, man." The team beat a hasty retreat.


	66. Flower Shop Marui (Maruihara)

"You want to be a florist, senpai?" Kirihara poked at a piece of floral foam. "I mean, uh, that's pretty cool and stuff." It was totally uncool and they both knew it. Marui-senpai was supposed to be an astronaut or a mad scientist or something, not a florist. Florists were gay, and not even normal-gay, but gay-gay.  
  
"Think about it," Marui said, arranging a peony into his foam brick. "Guys go to florists because they're about to get dumped, right?"  
  
Kirihara nodded. Fukubuchou went to a florist and got Buchou flowers when he forgot it was their Regulars Anniversary. Buchou punched him and said, "I'm not a girl, Sanada. Fifty laps!" It was awesome.  
  
"So some of those guys are bound to be pretty desperate, yeah? Maybe losing hope?" Marui wiggled his eyebrows. "I'll sway them to the dark side with my beautiful bouquets."  
  
It was the dumbest plan Kirihara had ever heard – and he'd heard a lot because Yanagi-senpai liked to chat at him when Buchou and Fukubuchou were busy "taking inventory." First, it was stupid because straight guys don't just switch teams for flowers. Jackal-senpai said so. Second, it was stupid because Marui-senpai would be looking at other guys when he _clearly_ had the best candidate for boyfriend standing right next to him, handing him stupid blocks of green foam and making him sandwiches.  
  
Stupid Marui-senpai.  
  
"So I'm thinking of calling it something like FloraTensai. Whaddya think?"  
  
"Hey senpai, wanna go get ice cream? I'm allergic to flowers." Kirihara flashed the three 1000 yen bills his mom gave him for cleaning the house.  
  
Marui looked to his flower arrangement, to the money, and back. He set his stem cutters down. "Sure."  
  
While his senpai brushed stray petals and pollen off himself, Kirihara calculated how much money he'd need to get from Jackal-senpai to keep Marui away from the flowers for a week or so – that was the longest any of Marui's "hobbies" ever lasted. And, if worse came to worse and Bunta did buy a flower shop, Kirihara would just lurk outside and scare away any cute guys that came. It wouldn't be much different than scaring away that freakish Hyoutei kid every day, except maybe he'd be able to call himself a "bouncer" and get paid instead of told to run laps.  
  
"Akaya! Ice cream!" Marui grabbed Kirihara's arm and dragged him away. "Triple scoop with fudge and cherries!"  
  
Tripping a little over his feet, Kirihara managed to match his senpai's frantic pace as they left the flower-filled house behind and ventured out into the summer heat.


	67. Petty Thieves (Rikkai)

"Look, I know you've got them so just hand them over alright?" Niou put out his hand and waited for the punk kid to comply. "I won't tell him you took them, so hurry up."  
  
Kirihara had the nerve to look innocent. "Don't know what you're talking about, Niou-senpai. I don't have anything." His eyes narrowed. "But you can give me that thing you have in your locker and then _I_ won't tell him you took it. Aren't I nice, senpai?"  
  
"You're a pain in my ass. Just hand 'em over." Niou smacked Kirihara in the chest then offered his hand out again. "I don't have all day, so move it." He knew Kirihara had them because he'd seen the kid take them earlier that morning. A second year sneaking around the third year floor was a little obvious, particularly when said second year was humming Bond music like some spazzed out cartoon character. Kirihara really gave the Regulars a bad name.  
  
"I don't have anything! You're the one who has things he's hiding!" Kirihara's shout earned them the attention of the one individual they were trying to avoid.  
  
"So, who has my gym shorts and who has my socks?" Marui held a hand out to either of them. "Hurry up."  
  
Niou pulled a sock out of his tennis bag. He wasn't keeping it for weird reasons; he just found it on the ground and was going to give it back. He told Marui so.  
  
"You're lying, senpai. I saw you take it out of his bag." Kirihara handed Marui the gym shorts. "I only took these because mine have a hole and we wear the same size." The brat stuck his tongue out. "I'm not a freak like Niou-senpai."   
  
Marui stepped away before Kirihara could grab his arm. "You both owe me lunch, and I'm telling Sanada." Marui looked to Niou. "You know who's got my P.E. shirt?"  
  
Niou pointed to where Jackal was conversing with Yagyuu. "Took it this morning while you were having that doughnut."   
  
"Dammit. Stop stealing my clothes every day. It's getting old." Marui whipped out with his shorts, smacking both Niou and Kirihara in the head.  
  
"I think he likes me," Kirihara whispered, cradling where the shorts whipped his ear.   
  
Niou touched his own reddened skin, but only because it hurt like a bitch, not because he was stupid and sentimental. "Sure kid. Sure." Tomorrow, Niou would get to the shorts before the brat could. And this time he wouldn't get caught.


	68. The First Time It Happens (Silver Pair)

It took a lot of guts, but he was finally doing it. He was finally going to approach his senpai about being a regular. Normally the regulars were simply chosen by Atobe-senpai, but if Choutarou made a good case, he felt like his appeal would be heard.  
  
"E-excuse me," Ohtori said, tapping his senpai on the shoulder. "My name is Ohtori Choutarou and I'm going to try out for a regular's position this year."  
  
His senpai tossed his hair over his shoulder. "That's nice."   
  
"I wanted to make sure it was okay with you." Ohtori tried not to look nervous, but his legs just didn't seem to want to support him. He had to shuffle from leg to leg just to stay standing.  
  
"Why the hell should I care? Shouldn't you be warming up or something?" Swishing his hair one more time, Ohtori's senpai tromped away.  
  
"Thank you, Atobe-senpai," Choutarou called, waving. Everyone said Atobe-senpai was pretty but kind of a bitch, but he was a nice guy after all. A little rude, but nice. And kinda cute.


	69. Stuff It (various)

  
"You wouldn't!"  
  
"Try me."  
  
"I'll sue!"  
  
"Listen to that, Mr. Sheep. He's going to let me rip out your stuffing." Kirihara tugged a little at the seams of his captive. "Isn't it sad that he loves stalking more than he loves you?"  
  
It all started during a last minute nationals training camp. Yukimura-buchou wanted the team to work on a lot of things (mostly running laps), so they rented a few rooms in some hick town and practiced. Marui-senpai's crazyass stalker followed them. At first it was kinda nice to know that Marui-senpai had fans who appreciated him. After some personal items started to go missing, Kirihara had to draw the line.  
  
"Give. It. Back." Jirou lunged for the stuffed sheep and succeeded in getting a hand around it's fluffy but dirty tail.  
  
"Stay away from senpai and I'll give it back." Kirihara tugged, delighted to hear a small ripping sound. His initial plan was to torch half the plushie and send it back to Hyoutei in a cardboard casket, but this was better. It was like playing with his neighbor's dog.  
  
Jirou winced when the tearing started, but didn't let go. "Give it back or I'll let him know all your dirty secrets."  
  
Kirihara paused. "I don't have any dirty secrets."  
  
"How about picking your nose and wiping it under your chair at school?" Jirou smiled wide, showing teeth. "I have photos. Lots of photos. Let the sheep go and nobody has to know anything."  
  
"That's no big deal. I-"  
  
"Last Thursday. The photo and the Vaseline."  
  
Kirihara dropped the sheep.


	70. A Beautiful Morning (AtoJi)

Jirou was an optimist. Still, it was hard to remain positive when the first thing he saw every morning was Atobe – not the wonderfully groomed, laser-eyed Atobe he knew and loved, but a strange beast with matted hair, wrinkled clothing, and hideous morning breath. And a horrible attitude to go with it all.   
  
"Morning Keigo." Jirou smiled and waved at his roommate, happy that their parents decided to force them to live a common college life to "better understand the customers." Now if only he could convince Keigo to brush his teeth before he left the vicinity of the wash basin.  
  
"I hate this place." Atobe walked stiffly toward the refrigerator. "Jirou, I thought I told you to buy some iced coffee."  
  
"We're budgeting. We can't afford any this week." In lieu of iced coffee, Jirou bought a WiiFit. Hopefully, it would counteract the month long Starbucks binge Keigo went on as soon as he was away from his caffeine controlling mother.  
  
"Coffee, Jirou. Now." Atobe snapped his fingers.  
  
Jirou shrugged. "We have a coffee maker. Learn how to use it." He looked through the cupboard and got out some coffee grounds. "Here." He threw them at Atobe's head. "And if you snap your fingers at me again, you're going to lose them." Oh god, he was sounding like his mother.  
  
"Coffee." Snatching the bag of grounds, Atobe sought out the coffee maker.  
  
Jirou left the kitchen before Atobe remembered that the coffee maker's carafe was broken and had yet to be replaced because _someone_ didn't want to lower himself to asking a store attendant where the replacements were. Oh well. Coffee made Atobe's morning breath worse anyway.


	71. Progress of Sorts (NiouKiri)

  
"Two thousand yen says he gets slapped."  
  
"Niou-kun gets slapped daily. No bet."  
  
"Damn." Marui and Yagyuu crouched behind a bush, observing their teammates.  
  
"I believe," Yagyuu said, "that he's going in."  
  
On the other side of the bush, Niou and Kirihara sat on a bench, drenched in after-practice sweat. Niou's arm was ever so casually resting on the back of the bench, moving slowly toward Kirihara's neck.  
  
"The old stretch and grope, huh? That's a classic." Marui snapped a photo with his phone so he could rub Niou's inevitable failure in his face.  
  
Niou stretched. Niou groped.  
  
Yagyuu adjusted his glasses. "It would seem Akaya has progressed to punching. Can we consider that a step forward in their relationship?"  
  
"Well, there's more body contact involved, I guess." Marui pointed toward the bench. "The kid's even straddling him while strangling him."  
  
Yagyuu nodded. "Yes. A bold step forward. I'll go get the med kit."  
  
"Great. I'll watch to make sure he doesn't turn blue or anything."  
  
While Yagyuu retrieved the supplies necessary to patch up his slightly beaten doubles partner, Marui continued to take photos. Someday, if Niou ever succeeded, he would thank Marui, hopefully with cash.


	72. Idiot Collective (KenZai)

When he agreed to go to a concert, he didn't think he was going to be this miserable. The people around them smelled like beer and sweat, and the music was loud. Now, Kenya understood that concert music was supposed to be loud but this – this was ridiculous. This was going to give him hearing problems well into his 60s.  
  
Zaizen didn't seem to notice; he just kept head banging along with the sweaty, disgusting throng. For once, the piercings fit right in.  
  
And what were these lyrics?  
  
_Smash it like a ROCK STAR, burn it like a MOONBEAM_?  
  
It made absolutely no sense. None. But everyone around them was jumping and screaming and singing along as if everything were a-okay. Maybe it was the beer.  
  
Zaizen's mouth moved but Kenya couldn't make out a thing he was saying. Smiling and nodding, Kenya gave a thumbs up and did a little hop to pretend he was into the show. It was the least he could do after all the trouble Zaizen went through to get the fake IDs to get them into the adult-only show.  
  
Yuushi was going to mock him for this, possibly for life.  
  
_ROASTING pull a flower from your heart, MOANING with all the little chickens._  
  
Hell, _he_ was going to mock himself for this. Hopefully Hikaru would take care of him in his old age, when the ringing in his ears faded to leave behind sweet silence and the memory of a bass player falling off a giant amplifier into the mosh pit.  
  
Idiot.


	73. Pleas and Negotiations (various)

"There's an irate little man at the door, sir. He insists that he speak with you."  
  
Atobe paused his game of Wii Basketball. "Color?"  
  
"Yellow, sir."  
  
Hm. What could Rikkai want with him? It wouldn't be Sanada, he was "the tall yellow one," and Yukimura was "madam." Perhaps it was that volleyer Jirou enjoyed so much. "Let him in," Atobe said, dusting off his shirt to remove the cracker crumbs. It wouldn’t do for the opposition to see him snacking and playing Wii like a commoner.  
  
"You!" Kirihara Akaya dashed away from the butler and stomped up to Atobe. "Do something about this!" Kirihara opened his phone and displayed a picture of Jirou clinging onto Marui Bunta.  
  
"How tacky," Atobe said, raising his nose away from the phone. "Did you do this with your Photoshop in an attempt to make ore-sama pay damages? Our lawyers will crush you." He clapped his hands. "Take the small one away."  
  
House staff began to descend.  
  
"It's not Photoshop! He's harassing Marui-senpai at practice again!" Kirihara shook off the staff and went up to Atobe. "You promised Buchou that you'd keep him away from us. He keeps bringing expensive stuff and feeding it to senpai and taking up _all_ of his time." Kirihara grinned. "And he's talking about changing schools to be with senpai. You don't want that, right? You need him, right?"  
  
Atobe looked down his nose. " _I_ do not _need_ anyone. However, I understand how your little team might find Jirou's presence intimidating. I will take the matter under advisement. You may go." Atobe clapped again and Kirihara was escorted out. Once the nuisance was gone, Atobe flagged his butler.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"Call security and have them collect Jirou." Atobe thought a moment. "And fire whomever we hired to contain him."  
  
"At once, sir."  
  
With the problem solved, Atobe resumed his game of Wii Basketball. Once security acquired Jirou, he would want a rematch of yesterday's game. This time, Atobe intended not to get his ass handed to him.


	74. Senpai of the Corn (Silver Pair)

"Shishido-san?" Ohtori tapped his senpai on the shoulder. "Shishido-san, can we talk?" The large brimmed hat obscured all of his senpai's face and, what the hat didn't cover, the ridiculous overalls did.   
  
"Hand me that bag of soil, Choutarou." Shishido held out his hands, waiting.  
  
Ohtori stood his ground. "Shishido-san, it's a TV show. You can't really plant corn in a pot this small." It was a big risk, telling Shishido that his precious television show might have faulty science, but Ohtori was getting tired of helping Ryou with his stupid science experiments. Last week Shishido made him eat an entire plate full of sushi while Shishido listened to his stomach with a stethoscope and wrote down how many times it gurgled.  
  
"It's a legitimate show, Choutarou. Hand me the soil."  
  
Any show that was hosted by a boyband was not legitimate. "Shishido-san, this is the last time." If Ohtori wanted it to stop, he'd have to put his foot down. If Shishido-san didn't like it, then Ohtori would speak with Shishido's mother regarding Ryou's collection of Sakurai Sho magazine cutouts. And the uchiwa. And the CDs. And the signboard he bought on Yahoo Auctions with money he promised to pay back to Ohtori as soon as he got the MatsuJun to finish out his collection.  
  
"Choutarou, the soil. Hurry before the bottom layer dries out!" Shishido wiped at his nose and dirt smudged across it. "I want it to grow before summer's over so we can go on a picnic."  
  
Ohtori handed over the soil and wiped the dirt off his senpai's face. "That sounds nice, Shishido-san." If this experiment failed, maybe things would be normal again. Maybe they could play tennis and watch movies with normal actors in them. Or maybe Ohtori was a sucker and would transplant the corn to make his senpai happy. Again.


	75. Mumbled Victory (Fudomine)

He had no idea what the kid was saying but, whatever it was, the kid was pretty adamant that Tachibana listen to him. Their team was only a day old and already there was fighting; Kamio and Ishida were discussing the lineup and began wrestling for no discernable reason. Then Ibu Shinji tapped Tachibana on the shoulder and started talking about…something, and he was still going on and on.   
  
"Mhm," Tachibana hummed, nodding his head to make it seem as though he was listening and not thinking about what his mom was going to make for dinner. Leading a tennis revolution was hungry work.  
  
"the next time….somewhere in the center…he doesn't actually care about what I think so…"  
  
"You know," Tachibana said, breaking into Ibu's stream of mumbling, "I think you'll be Singles 1 at the next tournament. I think that would help, don't you?"  
  
Ibu nodded and walked away, smiling.


	76. Merciful Reign (Rikkai)

Things had changed since Yukimura had been in the hospital, not in large ways, but enough that his first practice back felt slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"Akaya." This was the third time he'd had to call to get Kirihara's attention. Usually, when Yukimura called, Kirihara was on his way by the second syllable.  
  
"Hold on a sec, Buchou. I'm watching something." Kirihara didn't turn his head, just waved his hand in Yukimura's direction. He would get twenty laps for it at the close of practice.  
  
Still, Yukimura was curious, so he walked up to his youngest regular and followed his gaze.  
  
"Marui-senpai and Jackal-senpai are fighting." Akaya's fists were closed tight by his sides and his shoulders were shaking. "If I just…" Kirihara trailed off, turned his red face to look at Yukimura, then turned away.  
  
Ah. So that was how it was.  
  
"Marui! Jackal! Twenty laps!" Yukimura strode toward his doubles team. "Jackal, when you get back I want you on the ball machines. Marui, rally with Akaya."   
  
There was a tap on Yukimura's shoulder. "With Akaya?" Sanada asked, his eyes moving toward Kirihara's near catatonic body. "He won't learn anything."  
  
"I missed his birthday," Yukimura said. "And it will improve Marui's reflexes." Yukimura pointed to where Kirihara was slowly recovering, flexing his fingers. "And Sanada? Twenty laps. Never question me."


	77. Jostle (Rikkai)

The choices were shitty.  
  
"Hey, we can just share the seat," Akaya said, patting the spaces to either side of him on the bus.  
  
Marui looked at the only other seat available on the bus, next to an overzealous member of their cheer team who, despite his best efforts, never got the steps down. "I'm sitting on the inside." Marui moved forward, but his elbow was caught by Niou.  
  
"Nuh uh. I'm on the inside." The bastard grinned and pushed Marui toward the empty seat. "I think he likes you," he whispered. "Make friends."  
  
Akaya scooted toward the window.  
  
There was jostling and punching and, in the end, Marui won, but only because Niou was sitting on his lap. Kirihara snapped photos with his phone.   
  
"Buchou said you'd never be friends," Kirihara said, still snapping. "I'm gonna prove him wrong!" He scampered past his dueling senpai and toward the front of the bus.  
  
Minutes later, Sanada moved to the back of the bus and took a seat next to the cheerleader.


	78. Stellar Celebration (OsaGin)

In terms of birthday celebrations, this was right up there with the year Gin had appendicitis.   
  
"Uh, I'm not going to sing, but here." Osamu presented Gin with a toppled piece of German chocolate cake. "It's kinda old – I got it from the staff room, see – but it's still pretty good. I had a piece last night." Osamu scratched at his stubble. "You want a candle or somethin'?"  
  
Gin looked at the cake, clearly stale and clearly inedible. "Do you have anything to drink?"  
  
"I've got some beer." Osamu held up a half-full mug. "I didn't get to go to the grocery store this month because-"  
  
"You ran out of money?" Gin finished with a sigh. It was times like this he wondered why he even bothered accepting Osamu's invitations to come over. If he told his coach no, maybe he'd get to be in a normal relationship with a normal girl or, at the very least, with a guy who showered more than thrice a week without having to be bribed.  
  
"Rent's a bitch, you know. And I had taxes to pay and stuff." Osamu adjusted and scratched. "I'll get you a present next week, though. Guy down at the super market gave me a hot tip on a pachinko parlor."  
  
Gin knew that pachinko parlor. "I don't need anything. Just…don't go there."  
  
"You sure?" Osamu moved in for some bathing bribery collection.  
  
"I'm sure. Don't go there." Awkwardly, Gin put his arm around Osamu's shoulders. Gin's father thought he was being tutored in mathematics. If Osamu went to the parlor and had a few too many free beers, he might tell the nice barmaids why he was there. If those nice barmaids told their boss about the pervy, drunken school teacher, said school teacher might find living in Osaka to be slightly less comfortable.  
  
"So, uh, are we gonna…" Osamu wiggled his eyebrows and Gin was reminded of a pass Koharu made earlier that day.  
  
"No."   
  
"Damn." Osamu grunted and slouched. "Drink the beer, kid. We'll talk after that."  
  
Gin shrugged and downed the half cup. It was flat and tasted the way Shiraishi's old bandages smelled. Happy birthday to him.


	79. Serious Questions (JackaBun)

"Hey Jackal, can I ask you something?"   
  
Jackal had been grooving on the after-date silence and didn't really want to answer whatever awkward question Bunta was going to ask him. He knew it was going to be awkward because Bunta was blushing and tapping his heels against the bottom of the planter they were using as a bench.  
  
Against his better judgment he said, "yeah, sure."  
  
"If I totally sucked at tennis would you still go out with me?" Bunta gave him the deep gaze reserved for the Triple Mocha Lava Cake at Fujiya. It said plainly what the correct answer was and that if Jackal did not provide that answer there was going to be pouting and tears and a whole lot that Jackal would have to explain to Sanada at the next practice.  
  
"Don't be stupid. Of course I would." It wasn't a complete lie. If, at that very moment, Bunta began to suck at tennis, Jackal would still go out with him. Jackal would never have looked Bunta's way if Bunta was a crappy player before they met, but he was pretty sure he'd forgive Bunta just about everything for a foot massage and some home baked cookies.  
  
Bunta gave him another look then smiled. "Good. I'd go out with you even if you sucked, too."   
  
A little knot in Jackal's chest that he hadn't noticed until that moment unwound. "Good."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Yeah." Jackal scratched at his head. "So, uh, when do you need to be home today?"  
  
"'Bout an hour ago. Mom wanted me to go grocery shopping, but the brats are home so they can carry groceries."  
  
The trees wilted under the power of Jackal's sigh. "Come on, I'll smooth things over with your mom. Maybe you'll only be grounded for a few days." He stood and waited for Bunta to follow but the other boy remained on the planter. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Just thinking." There was that look again. "If mom really grounded me for life, would you climb up the side of the house to come see me?"  
  
Jackal didn't even need to think about the answer. "No. Let's go."


	80. Skeleton on the Wall (Sanayuki)

Sanada was willing to undergo a lot of humiliation in Yukimura's name. He'd worn sparkly shirts, donned "festive" hats, and sworn his undying devotion to his captain in front of a hospital room full of seven year old children.  
  
Apparently that wasn't enough.  
  
"Put the skeleton a bit higher on the wall, Sanada." In his hands Yukimura held a colorful array of streamers and paper spiders. "I want it to be high enough that we can realistically drape the cobwebs from it."  
  
Sanada had no artistic talent and, honestly, neither did Yukimura, but Seiichi had a grand vision for a Halloween Catacomb on his wall and called Sanada over to "make it happen." Currently not much was happening except a few leg cramps from climbing up and down the rickety chair Sanada was using as a step stool.   
  
"Don't slack off, Sanada. We need this finished before it's time for my medication." Yukimura snapped his fingers and shook the paper spiders. "Pin the skeleton down and let's move on to the cobwebs. And remember that this is supposed to strike fear into the hearts of all who see it."  
  
The only person who was going to be scared of Yukimura's "vision" was Renji, who had a problem with small, skittery things. He'd email the team and ask them to be freaked out. The seven year olds could be bribed with candy.  
  
"Work, Sanada!" A paper spider flew out of Yukimura's hand, wafted on the air, and landed at the end of the bed.  
  
Don't laugh. Don't laugh. "Excuse me," Sanada said, his stomach constricting with restrained laughter. "I need to go to the bathroom." He made a quick exit before Yukimura could throw something more solid at him. If he was lucky, he could fake an upset stomach and come back too late to get the display up before medication time, forcing them to abort the mission until tomorrow when he could bring a proper step ladder and reinforcements. Jackal still owed him a few favors; it was time to collect.


	81. Inappropriate (Maruihara)

Kirihara didn't approve. No, he didn't approve at all.  
  
"You didn't have to come. We're just going to work on our project." Bunta rolled his eyes and turned away from Akaya and back toward the third party in the room.  
  
"He always tag along when you're trying to do homework?" Niou asked, crooking a thumb in Kirihara's direction. "Or," he leaned in close to Marui's ear but whispered loud enough so Kirihara could hear, "is he onto us? Do you think we're going to have to tell him about our plans sweetiebuns."  
  
Marui's fist connected with Niou's stomach. "Call me sweetiebuns again and I'll break your nose."  
  
Niou gave Bunta the finger. "Try it again; I'll kick your ass."  
  
Kirihara cracked his knuckles. This was the opportunity he'd been waiting for. "Want me to get rid of him, senpai?" All he'd have to do is give Niou-senpai a good kick to the knee, then an elbow to the gut, then a few punches to the face. With his face all bruised nobody would want to hang out with him, not even for some "research project."  
  
"You just try it," Niou said.   
  
"Hey ratface."  
  
Niou turned to Marui. "What sweetiebuns?"  
  
"Leave the kid alone and get working. I want you both out of my room by lunch." He reached for a pack of gum and slipped two pieces into his mouth. "Kirihara."  
  
Akaya perked up. "Yes senpai?"  
  
"Go get us some snacks. There are some squid chips on the counter in the kitchen."  
  
Akaya was up and out the door for the chips immediately. When he returned, the door was locked. He tried to shoulder it open and failed.  
  
"Oh sweetiebuns! Not here! They'll hear us!"  
  
"Write down the damn formula, ratface!"  
  
"I love it when you talk dirty!"  
  
As soon as the door was open again – and it would open because Bunta drank five CC Lemons and had a small bladder – Niou-senpai was going to feel the full extent of Akaya's wrath.   
  
And Kirihara would withhold the squid chips.


	82. Comfort Food (Silver Trio)

Shishido, the nutcase, was freaking out over nothing. It was just a little test, not the end of the world. And Choutarou, the somewhat cuter nutcase, was facilitating him.  
  
"It's going to be alright, Shishido-san. We'll wait outside for you. Won't we, Wakashi?" If Choutarou's eyebrows were any more scrunched, they'd pop off his face from the pressure.  
  
"Whatever," Hiyoshi said, continuing on with his business. "It's not like you're going to fail the entrance exam. You're not _that_ stupid." Besides, they both stayed up late and helped Ryou study – though Choutarou wasn't much help with the science questions…or anything that didn't involve massaging Ryou's shoulders and fetching drinks. Stupid Shishido, hogging all the attention.  
  
Shishido looked up from his pile of books – Hiyoshi doubted any of the words even made sense to him anymore – and watched Hiyoshi at his task. "What're you doing?"  
  
"I'm making lunch. What does it look like I'm doing?" Hiyoshi tilted his mixing bowl so the others could see in. "Some burdock root salad with dikon for your digestion, then some miso soup, then some brown rice." He stirred the miso. "All those cheese sandwiches aren't good for you."  
  
Shishido sniffled and wiped his nose on his arm. Choutarou glared at him and handed him a tissue. If Shishido's snot got on their new couch, Ohtori was going to pitch a fit, then Hiyoshi would have to bake to get Choutarou back into a good mood. He hated baking almost as much as he hated making burdock salad.


	83. iPod Paralysis (Silver Pair)

Choutarou was dancing in his socks again. He had his iPod on so he wasn't aware of it – the iPod sucked away any awareness Choutarou had, also any rhythm. Ohtori's hips moved side to side like a fish out of water. Shishido was afraid Choutarou would pop a hip.  
  
"We. Are. Cool!" Choutarou's fist shot into the air and he began hopping on one foot.   
  
This wasn't getting the dusting done, and they really needed to get the dusting done before Shishido's mom came over with the weekly bag of groceries to supplement their less than stellar nutritional choices. Shishido could do the dusting himself if he wanted to, but he always did the dusting and Ohtori promised that he'd help out with the chores this week instead of spending all of his time searching used shops for outdated CDs and concert DVDs.  
  
He should have known better than to believe anything would be accomplished while the iPod still had battery life. Shishido grabbed a stray dust rag and did the only thing he knew would pull Ohtori away from his weird, weird hobby.  
  
"Shishido-san!" Ohtori clutched his backside. "I…I was going to start the dusting soon, Shishido-san." He smiled sheepishly and removed his earbuds. "I just got-"  
  
"Distracted?" Shishido offered, dust rag still tense in his hands. "Go wash the dishes, Choutarou. I'll do this."  
  
Choutarou replaced the earbuds and did a skippy dance to the kitchen. The dishes wouldn't get done, either, but Choutarou wouldn't be kicking up dirt from the floor while Shishido was trying to tidy things up. And, of course, when Shishido's mother came, she would congratulate Ohtori on how nice the apartment looked and tell Shishido that he should help more around the house and stop being a lazyass.   
  
Lame.


	84. Playing the Loser (OsaGin)

Osamu sucked at most board games but refused to admit it. More specifically, he refused to admit to Gin that he'd never once won a game of chess in his life. It wasn't that Osamu hadn't tried, he was just crap at anything that required strategy. As several nights worth of games had proved, Gin was a master of strategy and, if he weren't in the tennis club, he could be wiping the floor with the chess club.  
  
Osamu refused to feel inferior to a middle schooler.  
  
"Hey, let's ditch chess and play some video games or something. I bought a Wii last week and I haven't tried it yet." The only reason Osamu bought the Wii was because he heard Gin say that he wanted to try Wii tennis. Osamu also bought the WiiFit to help him knock off a few beer pounds, but that was stored under the bed where Gin wouldn't see it and start asking weird questions or offering to let Osamu use the home gym his family had at their place.   
  
"You hate video games." Gin started to put the chess board away.  
  
Osamu adjusted his hat so his eyes couldn't be seen. "I hate them because there's no challenge. I teach math, and all video games are based on mathematical equations. Once you figure out the equation the game's programmed to, it's easy to figure out." It was complete crap, but it sounded good and Gin seemed to be buying it.  
  
"I'll put the tennis in." Gin hooked up the Wii faster than Osamu ever could. He didn't even ask which slots the cables went into.  
  
"I'll go easy on you," Osamu said, "just so you don't feel too bad." If he only got his ass half handed to him, he'd be lucky.  
  
They played Wii Tennis for half an hour. Osamu scored once.  
  
"Thank you for letting me win." Gin bowed and began to clean up the gaming area.   
  
Osamu cleared his throat. "You could, uh, show that appreciation, you know." He cleared his throat again and sat back on the couch in a reclined position.  
  
Gin nodded. "I'll let you win at chess next time."


	85. Rescue (Inukai)

The situation brought to mind the movie Planet of the Apes – the original one, not the remake. The student before him was about the proper height and had enough body hair to approximate the ape costume.  
  
He was also snarling.  
  
"Inui-senpai?"   
  
"Stay back, Kaidou!" The last thing Inui needed was his kouhai getting messed up with the genetically devolved – or would that be evolved given the movie paradigm to which he was referencing – third year blocking Inui's path to his shoe box.  
  
The third year snarled again.  
  
Kaidou hissed.  
  
The logistics of what happened next defied all the data Inui had on Kaidou but, despite the anomaly, Kaidou emerged from the dirt cloud of conflict unscathed and with a hairy ape at his feet.   
  
"Don't worry about him, senpai. Let's go train." Kaidou dusted his running shorts off and began stretching. Inui stood close to Kaidou, just in case another anomaly should occur. The shorts had nothing to do with it.


	86. In the Bag (NiouKiri)

"Nevermind if you're too much of a wuss to do it." Niou set a paper bag down next to his school bag. "I should've known better."  
  
Kirihara clenched his fists. This wasn't fair. Niou-senpai was playing one of his weird pervert games again and Kirihara had to play along or be a wuss for backing down. "Why don't _you_ do it?"  
  
Niou shrugged. "It's not my size. I stole it especially for you. You know, cuz I care."   
  
"Senpai, you're lying." Anyone who really cared wouldn't be asking Kirihara to wear _that._  
  
Niou looped his arm around Kirihara's shoulders. "C'mon. Do it for me."  
  
"You owe me, senpai. You better pay up tomorrow." Kirihara picked up the bag and stalked off.  
  
"Remember to come back and say the line!" Niou called, waving.  
  
There was no way in hell he was going to say the line. The dress was bad enough. Saying he was from Kiri's Delivery Service and had a "special package" was too much.


	87. Senbatsu Showers (various)

Yagyuu couldn't see for shit in the fog of the shower, even with his glasses on.   
  
"What kind of ridiculous game is this?"  
  
His hearing was fine, though, and he could easily pinpoint Atobe's nasal voice. He walked quietly and carefully through the mists.  
  
"You said you wanted me to show you how the commoners did it. Well, this is it."   
  
Sengoku's cheer was also unmistakable. Yagyuu wouldn't have put those two together if they were the last two boys naked and stupid in the locker room. Of course, he never was much for statistics.  
  
"It's undignified!"  
  
Yagyuu caught a glimpse of Atobe's foot swinging in midair.  
  
Smack.  
  
"Don't be like that." Sengoku chuckled. "You're lucky you found an understanding guy like me, you know." Smack.  
  
"If you spank me one more time I'll sue you, you overgrown orangutan!" Atobe's floating foot grew into a leg wrapped around a slippery wet waist.   
  
Yagyuu wiped at his glasses. Too much steam.  
  
"Hey! Can you do us a favor and back it up a little bit? You're freaking Atobe out."  
  
Yagyuu stopped dead and looked upward. He could see Sengoku, hair limp and sticking to the sides of his face.  
  
"We agreed to a ten foot area," Atobe said, shooing Yagyuu back with a manicured hand. His leg was starting to slide down Sengoku's thigh.  
  
Adjusting his glasses out of habit, Yagyuu took a few steps back. "My apologies. Please continue."


	88. Summons (with Kiva flavoring)

  
"Wake up!"  
  
Jirou blinked and rolled the pillow off his head. "What?" he grumbled, looking around for whoever was bastardly enough to rouse him…two hours before he had to be up for school.  
  
"Get up! We don't have much time!" Flap. Flap.  
  
"I've got two hours," Jirou argued. "And turn the fan off." He tried to roll back onto his pillow but was unable due to the bat – or batlike thing – on it.   
  
"Let's get moving," the bat said, grabbing one of Jirou's fingers.   
  
"Awesome." Jirou grabbed the bat and began examining it. How was it flying? Who sent it? Where was the remote?   
  
The bat wiggled away. "People are in danger!"  
  
Jirou blinked. "So?" He looked at his clock; he was down to one hour and forty minutes. Unacceptable. He would just have to play with his new toy when he woke up. With a yawn, he fell back down to his bed and began to snooze.  
  
"Wake up!"  
  
A pillow flew toward the bat, slamming him into the wall. When Jirou woke, the bat was gone.


	89. Dress You Up With Love (Sanayuki)

Halloween was a bad idea and Sanada wanted no part of it. Year after year he had to endure kitty cat ears, fox tails, and other random and embarrassing attempts to get him to be "festive."   
  
"Sanada, it's for the good of the team," Yukimura insisted, waving this year's "costume."   
  
"I'll freeze to death." It was true. The weather was getting cold and rainy and the party was going to be outside Renji's house in a very small patio. The neighbors at the apartment complex next door would be able to see down to the festivities and Sanada didn't want to be seen wearing the "costume."  
  
"We'll have a space heater," Yukimura said. He waved the costume again. "It'll be fun."  
  
Sanada didn't appreciate Yukimura's new quest to "have fun." Having fun usually meant that Sanada was going to embarrass himself in the name of Yukimura publically groping him. Sanada much preferred the old, no-fun Yukimura.  
  
"Tarzan is a perfectly acceptable costume. Put it on."  
  
It would be easier to say no if the new, more fun Yukimura didn't say things with the same tone as the old Yukimura, who would let Akaya use Sanada for target practice.  
  
Sanada tried for compromise. "I'm wearing a coat."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, Sanada. Tarzan doesn't wear a coat. Hurry and put it on so we can leave. I'm going to the bathroom to finish my costume."  
  
While Sanada stripped down and donned his furry loin cloth, Yukimura went to put the finishing touches on his Doraemon face paint.


	90. BFF Time (Maruihara)

Kirihara hated women. He didn't hate them because of cooties or anything lame like that; he hated them because they dumped Jackal, and when Jackal got dumped he enacted his BFF rights and stole Marui-senpai away for days. It was stupid.   
  
"It was love," Jackal sniffed into Marui's shoulder. Even on really good days Kirihara didn't get to hold Bunta as tight as Jackal was. The worst part was that, in accordance with The Talk they'd had their second week of dating, Kirihara wasn't allowed to complain or be jealous. He was supposed to be sympathizing with Jackal's broken heart and allowing Marui "space."   
  
Akaya wasn't the kind of boyfriend to make demands or creepily insist that Marui not have friends, but there were some lines (namely, Bunta's waist) and anyone who crossed that line (Jackal's hand was getting too close for any supposed heterosexual) deserved to feel the full extent of Kirihara's wrath.   
  
"How could she?" Jackal continued to sob.  
  
"There, there." Marui patted Jackal on the back and rolled his eyes. He mouthed _drama queen_ to Kirihara and winked. "You're too good for her. Doesn't she have a friend you thought was hot and interested? Why don't you go for that?"  
  
"Yeah, senpai," Kirihara said, placing a hand on Jackal's shoulder to be sympathetic and not at all to shove him off Marui if he didn't move in another sixty seconds. "She had bad teeth and probably doesn't even like tennis."  
  
Jackal's head lifted from Marui's shoulder. "You're right." Reaching forward, Jackal pulled Kirihara against Marui's back and embraced him.  
  
Maybe, Kirihara thought, there was something to this whole comforting thing after all. He pushed in a little more. "Me an' Marui-senpai will always be here for you, Jackal-senpai." He scooted his hips a bit. "Cuz we're your friends and we care and stuff."


	91. After Practice (Rikkai)

"Hey fukubuchou, you'll never guess what happened today." Akaya strutted around the locker room in his towel. "Go on. Guess."  
  
Sanada ignored Yukimura's personal prodigy and kept tying his shoes.  
  
"Guess!" Kirihara insisted, poking Sanada in the side.  
  
"You got a date?" Jackal said, swooping in to stand between Kirihara and Sanada before Kirihara lost a limb.   
  
Kirihara snickered. "Yeah." He leaned in close as if to whisper in Jackal's ear even though his voice remained loud enough to carry through the room. "Marui-senpai and I are going on a Christmas Eve date." Kirihara paused, waiting for the gasps of awe.  
  
"Hey Yagyuu, you got the medicated foot powder? My right foot itches like a bitch." Niou rifled through his double's partner's tennis bag.  
  
"Sanada, how long does it take to tie your shoes? Hurry up and make sure the freshmen put everything away in the shed." Yukimura stood in the doorway, jersey billowing around his shoulders. "And don't take too long. I don't want to have to come get your lazy ass again." Despite his threats, if Sanada didn't stay out long enough to merit Yukimura's 'concern,' the captain would escort him back out to the shed because, clearly, he hadn't given the grounds a thorough going over.   
  
"Who the hell stole my underwear!?" Marui slammed his locker shut.  
  
"Not guilty," Niou said, always the first to be blamed. "I steal a lot of stuff, but there's a line you just don't cross."  
  
"I've got 'em senpai!" Kirihara waved a pair of red and yellow boxers in the air. "I wanted to make sure nobody did anything to them while you were in the shower." Kirihara gave a significant look to Niou as he passed.  
  
"Niou-kun and I have had a conversation regarding last week's incident. It will not be repeated." Yagyuu smiled and moved to stand closer to Niou. "Isn't that right, Niou-kun."  
  
Niou gave Marui the finger for snickering. "Next time I'll put the itching powder in Sanada's stuff."  
  
"I'm sorry, Niou, what was that?" Yukimura appeared behind his teammate. "You wanted to run some laps as a cool down? Be my guest. You can start with twenty."  
  
"I just took a shower!"  
  
"Thirty!"  
  
"Fine, I'm going." Niou kicked off his shoes and put his tennis shoes back on. "Asshole," he grumbled under his breath.  
  
"And then another twenty with double weights."  
  
Yagyuu collected Niou's things while his doubles partner hustled out the door. "And it was his turn to buy the ramen," he sighed.   
  
"Is anyone listening to _me_?" Akaya asked.  
  
"No," Marui said. "We don't listen to naked guys. Put some clothes on. And give me my underwear." Bunta was less than imposing in his t-shirt and towel, though he did get his underwear back.  
  
Jackal tapped Marui on the shoulder. "You're not gonna bum money off me for this date, are you?"   
  
"Maybe." Marui ignored Kirihara's staring and finished getting dressed. "You got a hot date?"  
  
Jackal coughed and turned away. "I can maybe lend you 2000 yen, but you've got to pay me back."  
  
"According to my observations," Yanagi began, "he has a date on Christmas Eve with –" Yanagi was cut off by Jackal's hand covering his mouth.  
  
"Destiny," Jackal finished. "I have a date with Destiny. And Destiny is going to get the date called off if someone keeps running his mouth."  
  
"That's real smooth," Marui said, clapping Jackal on the shoulder.  
  
Kirihara shook Yanagi's hand. "Congratulations, senpai! Be prepared. I heard that Jackal-senpai will put out on the first date."  
  
"Who told you that!?" Jackal's leap toward Kirihara's throat was cut off by Yukimura's cough.  
  
"Ahem," Yukimura said. "Sanada is taking too long. I'm going to check up on him."  
  
Once Yukimura exited, Jackal turned back to Kirihara. "Who said that?"  
  
"Hey Akaya, let's go get some cakes or something." Marui shouldered his bag and raced for the door. He only told Kirihara a little lie as a joke. No harm in having a little fun.  
  
"Have fun on your poverty date," Jackal said. "Enjoy your 100 yen romance."  
  
The door to the clubhouse slid shut as Yagyuu made a quick retreat with his and Niou's bags. While the others were distracted by the noise, Kirihara grabbed Marui and they made a run for it, leaving Yanagi and Jackal alone.  
  
"Purely in the interests of furthering your statistical profile… _do_ you put out on the first date?"


End file.
